by SANKA PRICE

IT TAKES A BIG person to admit they're wrong, and to apologise for their negative behaviour. And when you care deeply for the individual who offended you, the pain of their act hurts even more.

For many, what would placate or at least soothe their anger at such betrayal is an apology. But many people often complain that those who treated them badly, or abused and disrespected them usually don't say sorry, and this often leaves those who were hurt feeling bitter for years.

This week's question (If you wanted to seek someone's forgiveness, or if you wanted to apologise for breaking someone's heart, what would you say?) was our attempt to get some people to admit, albeit anonymously, their transgressions. We hoped that through the details revealed in those apologies that those wounded individuals would get some healing in this process.

That we received our lowest response to date to any question - ten responses (seven phone calls, two emails and one text) - told us that either people do not believe in asking for forgiveness or our question was not very interesting.

As so many people have suffered emotionally because of such treatment, we suspect that the former reason may be responsible for such a low poll.

Sincere comments

Be that as it may, most of the comments we received were sincere and heart-warming, and we urge those who have wronged others to recognise that saying sorry does not diminish them in any way. In fact, it may enhance your stature.

The following are edited versions of some of the responses received:

- "You may find this hard to believe, but I left you because I started to really care about you, and I know that I am not the kind of man you were looking for.

"The truth is, though I said and did the right things, and seemed attentive to your every need, I only was with you to see what I could get from you. But as time went on I realised I could not continue doing that to you as you are really decent.

"I would not have wanted any man to play my two sisters the way I was fooling you, so that is why I left you and went with H; she is a real heartless b. . . ., the type I am accustomed to; that is why I dumped you for her."

- "I left you because I am gay. I was with you because I did not want to accept that, but the more we were intimate, the more uncomfortable it was for me."

- "You were not my type, but I could not tell you that because you were nice to me and I did not want to hurt your feelings. . . . I realised the longer we were friends the more difficult it would be for you when we did break up, so that was why I left you. . . . The girl you saw me with is just a close friend - she is not my woman. She did not horn you. So please stop your friends from calling her."

- "Darling, I am extremely sorry. If I could only [snap] my fingers and turn back the hands of time, things would not have worked out the way they did between us.

"I know I was your worst nightmare, but if only you could see into me [now, you'd realise that] today I'm a changed person.

"If I could get just one chance to look into your eyes and tell you how sorry I am, I would. Please forgive me."

- "Love, like anything else in this not-perfect world, has its peaks and valleys. We are all fallible."

- "I am sorry for what I said or did to you. . . I blew the situation out of proportion. Please forgive me."

- "We all make mistakes and I messed up when I went out and did not tell you where I was going and with whom. Nothing happened between us. I know you don't believe that, but it's true.

"As we broke up six years ago, and you are now married, so that we could never get back together, what reason do I have to lie now?"

- "I never cheated on you. Your friend is a liar. She could have never seen me with anyone else, because there was no one else.

"The whole thing was a misunderstanding and I only slapped you in your face because I wanted you to stop accusing me and listen to me. I am so sorry for hitting you.

"Please forgive me. I will always love you."