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True Confessions
I CONFESS: Fed up with cheating lover
Published on: 11/21/2009.
I HAVE BEEN living with a man for the past few years and he thinks only of himself; he is also sneaky, smart and tricky.
His motto is ‘Even if you catch me doing something that’s not on the up and up, I will deny it’.
Now, he is a handsome man and has this feeling that he is it. So what he does is flirt with certain types of women in the hopes that he will get sex from them. He has often told me that if there is a chance that a woman has talk for him, he will lead them on and try to see how far it would go but will never have sex with them because he is a Christian.
But does a Christian-minded person go intentionally to look for sex or to see if there is that possibility?
No!
Again, he tries to come off as innocent but isn’t. I know because he does not erase all his text messages so I read them and when I am finished, I erase them. He has this friend that he was in love with a while ago, but she did not tell him she had a man and therefore he ended up feeling hurt.
However, this same friend would call at our home at 11 p.m., minutes to 12 and so on, to talk to him. Sometimes I am right next to him and can’t hear a word of that conversation.
These things can’t be right and that is not respect!
I asked him if he could call her at that kind of time when her man was over, and he could not answer.
Next thing, he picks the children up from school late even if he finishes work early or if he is off, and often it is because he is picking up this female friend and her child to drop them home first.
He has a daughter from a previous relationship but he could not care less about her as his mother picks up the slack for him and takes care of this child most of the week to allow him and me to go to work.
This man does all of this, yet every Sunday he goes to church. I love him but he says that I am miserable and love is not all.
He would often tell me that I am paranoid. When I ask him about the women and the text messages, he says that he is a hard-working man and that he has no time to do any of the things that I am always accusing him of. Yet he always has a new number for some woman in his phone and these are the same women he starts texting and soliciting favours – he comes off as nice but is a fraud.
When he leaves for work or I drop him off to work, he does not look back or call back to see if things at home are good, but can be always on his cellphone calling his friends and other women. He only gives the new ones his cellphone number, by the way.
He goes to the barber and takes nearly five hours to get his hair cut, and his excuse for being there so long is that the shop was full and the men were talking. Some nights he left home for a couple of hours and when he returned he was looking to pick a noise when I asked where he went.
All I want from this Christian man is to let me know if he wants to be in this relationship or if he wants to continue to be a player and fool his family that he is guided by God.
I cook, wash, clean and help him out financially, but I am sick and tired of doing this for this ungrateful man. What’s worse is that some of the women he is seeking affairs with work at the same organisation as we do.
His motto is ‘Even if you catch me doing something that’s not on the up and up, I will deny it’.
Now, he is a handsome man and has this feeling that he is it. So what he does is flirt with certain types of women in the hopes that he will get sex from them. He has often told me that if there is a chance that a woman has talk for him, he will lead them on and try to see how far it would go but will never have sex with them because he is a Christian.
But does a Christian-minded person go intentionally to look for sex or to see if there is that possibility?
No!
Again, he tries to come off as innocent but isn’t. I know because he does not erase all his text messages so I read them and when I am finished, I erase them. He has this friend that he was in love with a while ago, but she did not tell him she had a man and therefore he ended up feeling hurt.
However, this same friend would call at our home at 11 p.m., minutes to 12 and so on, to talk to him. Sometimes I am right next to him and can’t hear a word of that conversation.
These things can’t be right and that is not respect!
I asked him if he could call her at that kind of time when her man was over, and he could not answer.
Next thing, he picks the children up from school late even if he finishes work early or if he is off, and often it is because he is picking up this female friend and her child to drop them home first.
He has a daughter from a previous relationship but he could not care less about her as his mother picks up the slack for him and takes care of this child most of the week to allow him and me to go to work.
This man does all of this, yet every Sunday he goes to church. I love him but he says that I am miserable and love is not all.
He would often tell me that I am paranoid. When I ask him about the women and the text messages, he says that he is a hard-working man and that he has no time to do any of the things that I am always accusing him of. Yet he always has a new number for some woman in his phone and these are the same women he starts texting and soliciting favours – he comes off as nice but is a fraud.
When he leaves for work or I drop him off to work, he does not look back or call back to see if things at home are good, but can be always on his cellphone calling his friends and other women. He only gives the new ones his cellphone number, by the way.
He goes to the barber and takes nearly five hours to get his hair cut, and his excuse for being there so long is that the shop was full and the men were talking. Some nights he left home for a couple of hours and when he returned he was looking to pick a noise when I asked where he went.
All I want from this Christian man is to let me know if he wants to be in this relationship or if he wants to continue to be a player and fool his family that he is guided by God.
I cook, wash, clean and help him out financially, but I am sick and tired of doing this for this ungrateful man. What’s worse is that some of the women he is seeking affairs with work at the same organisation as we do.
22 comment found!
WAHLOSS : 11/28/2009
Baje in Toronto...you couldn't have put it better......I laughed and laughed...perhaps, as you might say, de doggie too sweet.
CHEATING LOVER : 11/27/2009
LADY YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM LOW SELF ESTEEM,IN THESE TIMES WOMEN ARE MORE INDEPENDANT OR SHOULD BE AND DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH LOSERS AND NO GOOD MEN.GET OUT NOW AND GET A LIFE.PUT HIM IN THE GARBAGE WHERE HE BELONGS-----MONTREAL BAJE
I CONFESS: Fed up with cheating lover : 11/26/2009
'Baje in Toronto' I can't even remember de las' time I laugh suh hard - u is a real bajan fuh trute! All I cuh say is I agree wid yuh!!!!!! WELL SAID!!!!!!
: 11/25/2009
He ain't no christian and he aint yours, he's any and everybodies who will give him the time of day..... you've seen what he is about and what he is acpable of.....do you not deserve and want better for yourself? ....only you know the answer!!!
cheating lover : 11/25/2009
The man is not doing any thing to you. You are doing it to yourself. Actions speak louder than words. Read your letter, or let some one read it to you. You will see how foolish this woman is.I am sorry but only a fool would stand for this disrespect.Christian, what is your Idea of a Christian ?
Liar : 11/25/2009
Sister this man has a Christian name that is all . Stop calling him a christian .You need to forget about him .You have to respect yourself and believe in yourself . You do not need a man to affirm these things. He is not interested in you full stop . Stop hoping he will come and tell you the words you want to hear.Obviously it will be a cold day in hell if that happens .Get rid of this louse once and for all .Girl you need to start going to the gymn , making your self look good for YOU ,then you will start feeling good about you . Walk with confidence ,hold your head up high ,make new and positive friends ,out with the gossipers and surround yourself with positive thinking people . If you forget about this no good liar you would not have to worry about all the things he is doing or did . Free yourself . Then you could spend YOUR money on YOU and the things you love to do . Life is too short to worry about people who are obviously not worried about you .
Cheater : 11/24/2009
Lady you are STUPID. Just plain and simple as that. Why is it that women, sit and take this crap. Just so you can complain about it? You are not a prisoner so you can take you kids and leave or make him leave. I'm just sick and tired of hearing you stupid women complain about the way these men are treating you, only to hear you say "Oh but I LOVE HIM." He obviously don't love or care anything about you, because his actions alone proves this. Maybe you will wake up when he give you some sexual disease.
cheating christian : 11/23/2009
some uh we women real stupid, i gine tell you a little story, if chris didnt buss rihanna face in de public and if she did not ball fuh murda, she would have gone home and say nothing, find anoda excuse fuh being away from the gramys, do you think that that was the first blows she gets, she get nuff blows before this big one, like sanford and sons used to say, elizabeth, this is the big one, now having seh dat, you know dat he giing way de doggy to every tom, dick and harry and he even tell yuh dat if yuh catc he he gine deny um,you read de text and you know for sure dat he servicing many and you still sticking around, i know um hard fuh dig off immediately, but you should start preparing fuh dig off, he looking fuh a maid and he got one, wash, cook, clean, foop, dat is de purpose that you serve in his life, time fuh a move.
baje in toronto
Cheating Lover : 11/23/2009
This man is no Christian, but a fraud, True christians are not involved in love affairs, they get married and stick to their partners, anything else is adultery and fornication, acts that is condemned in the bible, 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11. He is a lier and a cheat and will reap the consequences of his falsehood. God is not one to be mocked. Whatever a man is sowing, that also he will reap. You have to determine what is it you want out of life and act positively, Seeing that you are not married to him, for you it is not a case of "for better or for worse"
Church Goer : 11/23/2009
Dear Friend, you 'boss' is not a Christian; he is a church goer who likes to dress up. As for you, you are the maid who will have to leave that position to be recognized as a person good enough to be SOMEONE else's wife. Please don't fool yourself any more. As for his good looks, I am of the opinion that he does not have any true value in himself or those he tries to 'flirt' with. Very soon his teeth will be dropping out, his hair grey, and his memory fading. And sorry to say if you hang around much longer your are not even going to get paid for your cooking, washing and cleaning.
Love and marriage, not love and cooking and cleaning. What is wrong with his pretty hands?
Trust : 11/22/2009
This man has turned you into a private detective: you are checking his movements, tracking him, verifying his whereabouts and spying on his phone and conversations. Bottom line: Love was not meant to look like this and you should not stay with someone you obviously do not trust.
fed up with cheating lover : 11/22/2009
I can't believe there are women out there that are allowing men to treat them with such disrepect... you need to wake up and smell the roses he is not a christian and he is nothing but a two timing piece of trash throw him in the garbage where he belong
fed up with cheating lover : 11/22/2009
I agreed with the writer who said' HE WILL TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU ALLOW HIM TO. if you cant understand that man is usuing you by flaunting other woman in your face, then you must be a complete IDIOT.
: 11/21/2009
This man is a player what are you hanging around for more heartache?
: 11/21/2009
Love is: respect, consideration, humility, responsibility, regard, trust, truthfulness, patience and commitment. He is definitely not committed and lacks respect, consideration and responsibility. As a Christian man he is supposed to be married and love his partner as he does himself.... but as a Christian he should know all these things!
fed up with cheating lover : 11/21/2009
WTH...Some women are just lacking in sense, and lady you are one of them, you mean to tell me he is doing all these things to you and you still asking if he wants to be in a relationship with you!! Look girl get a grip
Men treat you the way you allow them to... : 11/21/2009
First off he can't be a christian and living in fornication with you.
Secondly, you are slaving for a man who you have been with for years, who have not married you and furthermore, disrespects you. HE WILL TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU ALLOW HIM TO...you are giving him the power to treat you this way...he knows you will stay amidst all this hurt...
Here is what to do sis:
- Love yourself, which will result in increased self-confidence and self-esteem...men know when you are gullible and weak mentally
- Look yourself in the mirror and tell that person that you are wonderfully made, that you are God's creation and he did not make any mistakes...you deserve better
- Spend quality time with yourself...pamper yourself
- Be proud of yourself...think of your past or present accomplishments, go and take up a course or a new activity...
-BE INDEPENDENT - A lack of independence put a lot of women in these positions...why should you gain the whole world and lose your soul...your happiness, your sanity
The funny time is if you do these things, he will become very possessive and insecure over you but you have to be strong and move on and realize it is not love. He is just playing the field.
Men see the weakness and insecurities in women and deceptively operate accordingly.
It is better to be lonely than to be miserable. WOMEN STOP MAKING MEN THE CENTER OF YOUR JOY.
cheating lover : 11/21/2009
In life to put up/tolerate this behavior from a person/partner means you're happy with / enjoying it. If you are not comfortable it would be wise to move on.
Get out!! : 11/21/2009
You need to leave this man and never go back!! Do you love him more than you love yourself?? Girl AIDS is a reality and he is the prime candidate for bringing it home to you!! Get out before you become another statistic!! He does not respect you, he does not cherish you and most importantly HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU!! You have not mentioned one single good thing about this man and the worst thing that you highlighted is that he doesnt even care about his child. If thats his flesh and blood and he could care less, do you think that he will care about you??
You are not a maid, stop cleaning, cooking and washing for him. Let him pay for a maid if he wants those services. Do not be fooled by men like him who call themselves Christians, they are FRAUD. Leave him and ask God to find you a man who will love, respect and cherish you. When you find him, do not give up the goods till he walks you down the aisle and marries you!! Why the hell is any man gonna buy the whole cow when the milk is free?? When you give a man all the benefits of a wife, do you think that he will marry you or be serious about you?? Do not shortchange yourself!! Value yourself, The Lord paid a very high price for you with his blood. I wish that I could chat with you but anyway I wish you all the best as you try to get out of that negative relationship!
: 11/21/2009
Sick and tired? Then get out. By the way get tested, the man is a louse and you know it.
: 11/21/2009
if he is not enhancing your life in anyway and you are still holding onto him, then you are blocking your own blessings..either accept him the way he is and deal with it or put yourself first and walk..remember..he is only doing what you allow him to do...give yourself the love u have for him..hope all work out well in your favor
Cheating Lover : 11/21/2009
He is no christian believe me. Dump him, why are you allowing him to use and disrespect you. Come on....love yourself.
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