ONLY LAST WEEK I started off my column by asking why this Crop-Over season cahn run smoothly, and within dat week all sorts o’ things happen.Tuh be truthful, I really ain’t want tuh dwell pon the negative things dat happen but uh gine tell ya, when ya stop and look at it, it does really be foolishness in trute, ya know? One good thing is dat nuhbody ain’t get kill and I doan think nuh big lotta tiefing from people’s houses went on while the festivities were going along.I think I hear somebody say dat somebody get shoot in duh buttocks and a couple o’ little things happen, but it ain’t look like the police nor the Defence Force had nothing major tuh deal with – so dat was good.I ain’t went two foot Kadooment Day. My sister had a li’l food stall there pon Black Rock Road and was confusing me all the time tuh come cross there but I couldn’t be bothered. I stan’ home and watched the whole thing pon television from beginning tuh end. Some of it I enjoyed; the colours and concepts were beautiful. Another time I thought some people really overdo it and some o’ the bands ya coulda really do wid-out, hear wha’ I tell ya?Something I cahn seem tuh understand is “why some o’ the women parading in the costume bands does got tuh get on suh vulgar once duh see the camera pointing at dem and when duh get up in front o’ the judges?” I cahn understand why some o’ these bandleaders after putting suh much time, money and effort into getting a costume band pon the road does just leh the revellers boun’ on pon the stage before the judges and do all kinds o’ foolishness, while the narrator is reading what duh trying tuh depict.I doan know why duh cahn leh the sections in the band come on pon the stage and do a li’l choreography while the narrator reading so dat ya could understand what the colours and designs are trying tuh say. I also think dat the sections should stay in place fuh as long as is possible pon the roads instead o’ evahbody just making up in their minds tuh guh down the road doing bad and getting on wassy.Some bands I watched were very beautiful and ya could see dat a lot o’ thought went in tuh dem. So it was not only beads and a bikini – some had a real meaning behind dem. I liked the one wid the fellas from the Landship leading dem off in front o’ the judges. Dat was good – at least it had some kinda meaning.I hear and read ’bout how bad some people treat TC at Bushy Park after she won the Sweet Soca and Blood won the Party Monarch contests, and then they wanted the two o’ them tuh compete, and she refuse tuh go back on. She was right! I ain’t blame she at all. Wha’ I cahn remember dem having a third category tuh compete in! What was the relevance? I wonder what the organisers did really thinking when duh come up did dat foolishness. Some people just like tuh confuse issues hear?Talking ’bout wondering, ya all see the picture wid RPB and the Admiral pon the back page o’ The Nation newspaper on Tuesday? Wunna see the expression pon the Bag face? Look, dat picture make me laugh so bad and at the same time start wondering what the France was going through the Bag’s head. It cahn be a penny fuh ya thoughts, Bag – it would have tuh be a whole dollar.Now wait, leh me see if I could put my finger pon it. I think the Bag might be wondering how come the Admiral chest and pectorals look suh big . . . he doan lift nuh weights dat he know ’bout.I think dat he might be even noticing dat the Admiral ain’t got one grain o’ hair pon he chest – um smooth like a baby bottom.Ya know something? I think he looking at the shirt in the Admiral hand and the piece draped over he shoulder and saying dat it look like a cold shoulder blouse.Oh wait! The Bag look like he want tuh laugh ’cause the Admiral like he talking real hard and the strings in he neck pulling. When I take a good look at the picture, the Bag look a li’l tired from the competition and like he asking heself wha’ duh want he tuh do. All he want tuh do is guh long home tuh he wife and children and get a good night’s sleep.Ya know something? I got it! I think the lyrics tuh a calypso ’bout the happening just start tuh form in the Bag head fuh next year, I wonder if I right? I gine wait and see if I hit the nail pon the head.Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.
