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DEAR CHRISTINE – A year later and still in need of help


marciadottin, [email protected]

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Dear Christine I wrote to you twice last year about my problems with my family, my children’s father and rent I am 29 years and have three children, two boys and a girl. I wrote about how my daughter’s father just picked up and left. He stopped calling and doesn’t even bring anything for her. I couldn’t handle it and it almost put me in the hospital and my mother started making noise at the slightest thing my children did. It was so bad that eventually she asked me to leave, which I did to avoid more noise.
Then my son’s father kept calling and cursing him telling him he is not his father and he’s not supporting him, which he don’t and all now don’t.Anyway, I was renting with a friend and the rent was $900, we split that but within about four or five months he went away so I had that money to pay on my own. My money was not enough at the end of the month and that ran into arrears so the landlord told me I had to leave. I had no where else to go so I had to move back by my mother and things are still the same, the noise, the quarreling, everything and on top of that I lost my job. So there is no money coming in to help with the bills. I kept calling my daughter’s father and we eventually talked things out and he came for my daughter and now she lives with her grandmother and I hardly see her.I don’t have many friends because my mother doesn’t allow anyone at her house and my children are the same way because they can’t have friends over either. I applied to National Housing Corporation, went to the Minister of Housing and still nothing yet.
I need somewhere to go and a job to feed my children better, I already have all the things a house needs, everything except a fridge. I have a cousin that helps me but now everyone thinks that we are in something because I depend on him so much, but he has his own children too and I know he would not be there all the time.Please help me.– Young LadyDear Young Lady,You need to sit with your mother and try to come to an understanding as to the best way forward. You need to appreciate you are a woman and must resolve your problems since it would be unfair to place any burden on your mother. Your mother will hardly want to see her child or grandchildren suffer. As such you need to ask her help over a specific period while you try to get and hold a job in these tough economic times. I understand the bond with your children and the hurt in seeing any of them move from around you, but it might be best if the child stays with her grandmother while you “catch your hand”.When you get a job you need to look at ways you can upgrade your skills and training to meet the demands of a changing work environment. Remember no one owes you anything; you need to have clear goals and work towards them.– Christine

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