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Not happy back with ex-lover


marciadottin, [email protected]

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Dear Christine:I am a divorcee.I got divorced about 15 years ago.My husband was no sweetbread. He would stay out weekends. Ignore me when I asked where he was and treat me with much disrespect.We had two sons who were very young at the time and he would shout at me in front of them and many times I ended up in tears.It so happened that I discussed my troubles with one of my male colleagues. We would sometimes go out to lunch and after a while, we began having an affair.It became very intense, but it helped me forget the horrible things my husband told me and did to me.There was only one problem . . . my colleague was also married.He claimed that he and his wife were also having problems.Christine to cut a long story short, we became more and more attached to each other.Eventually I decided to move out of the house and get my own place.By this time the boys were older and they stayed with their father, since I only had a small apartment.My workmate and I continued our affair.One day he had to make a trip back to Barbados. (I live in the United States).He was gone for almost two weeks. When he came back he was very different. He seemd a little cold, but I didn’t harp on it.The next thing you know he said he was leaving his wife. I was excited because I figured we can at last be together. I figured he would move in with me. But he didn’t.He got his own apartment. But that’s not all. He began going to Barbados very often and sometimes I wouldn’t see him for weeks.Then one day he said the relationship was over, he had found someone else. Something I had already suspected.I was so distraught I had a nervous breakdown. After all, I had left my family for this man. That was years ago. I am now in my 50s.But guess what Christine, this man is back in my life. I don’t think I ever got over him. Since then he remarried and divorced.Now he keeps calling me and sometimes he comes over and we have sex.I feel very stupid, because I know it’s now just a sexual thing. But I have been so lonely for so long in my life that I have welcomed him back with open arms. My sons are all grown up with their own families and I live alone.My ex-husband remarried more than ten years ago.I also suffer with bouts of depression.Do you think I am wrong or stupid to be taking him back knowing it’s only sexual?– TROUBLED WOMANDear Troubled Woman:You are indeed troubled.You are a grown woman and you know the risk you’re taking. Although you say you know it’s just sexual, you could easily get caught up with this man again and have another breakdown.My advice is that you thread carefully. Do not encourage this man. However, if you find him so irresitible, then be prepared to suffer the consequences.– CHRISTINE

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