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Young boys in clutches of women


Cheryl Harewood

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MARK was still at primary school when his female teacher approached him and lured him into having sex with her.
He remembers his experiences with that teacher clearly, even though it happened 45 years ago.
Today, at 54, he is married with two children. This experience, he says, opened his eyes to sex.
“I knew about sex from early,”  he says, “I learnt about it from my own teacher.”
Kevin, now in his 60s, was also introduced to sex by his teacher. He was 11 years old at the time. For him, it was a case of enjoying something that felt good but was awkward. He was an innocent lad, who felt at the time that the teacher had the right to do what she wanted. After all, she was the teacher.
Orlando also remembers his first sexual encounter at the age of nine. His early exposure was through a 17-year-old female.
“All I knew was that it felt good,” he says.
Sex between the two occurred repeatedly over time.
 For him, it was a well kept secret between him and his teenaged “suitor”.
A recent check has shown that individuals like Mark, Kevin and Orlando are just three of many men “sexually molested by older women” while in their adolescent and teenage years.
But boys don’t run home and tell their mummies and daddies like girls do. They don’t “get molested” and tell.
In some cultures, older women see it as their “duty” to introduce young boys to sex. This act is seen as part of the boys’ growing up stage.
Society usually points fingers at men who abuse young girls/women. Statistics made public by the Child Care Board supports this. However, where is the evidence to show that some older women are also often guilty of molesting young boys? It is known, that in many cases, these women are known by the boys’ families.
In a questionaire last month, most men described their early introduction to sex as pleasant, and as experiences they shared primarily with male counterparts, or proudly told their female friends.
While the law in Barbados clearly states that anyone having sexual intercourse with a child (male or female) under the age of 16 is guilty of sexual molestation, cases where women are the predators are never brought fully to light.
“Cases of older females making sexual advances at young boys is one of the least reported crimes. It’s something you don’t really talk about, and it’s also something that doesn’t fit into the strong dominant male stereotype,” said one blogger recently.
Another wrote: “There are cases of men being sexually molested by women, but such cases are rare, and in most cases dismissed, because people tend not to believe such things happen. The male ego also plays into such things. A man sexually molested by a woman will most likely keep it to himself or face massive humiliation.”
Yet another youngster shared the following story:
“I got blackmailed by a sex addict female when I was 16. She threatened to tell my parents about something I’d done. We would have sex often at her house. She even tied me to her bed and forced me to take pills and aphrodisiac medicine.
“The situation was not one that I enjoyed, and I hated her. I was not released from her clutches until her family moved. I don’t want to see her again.”
A recent study in British Columbia, Canada, states that three out of every four boys on the streets are sexually exploited by women.
Canada’s largest study into the sexual exploitation of street kids and runaways has shattered some myths about who the abusers might be – with the most surprising finding being that many are women seeking sex with young males.
“Some youth in each gender were exploited by women, with more than three out of four [79 per cent] sexually exploited males reporting exchanging sex for money or goods with a female,” said Elizabeth Saewyc, associate professor of nursing at the University of British Columbia and principal investigator for the study, which was conducted by Vancouver’s McCreary Centre Society.
The results were drawn from interviews with 1 845 youth – some as young as 12 years old – in surveys taken across the province between 2000 and 2006.
The stereotypical model of the child being abused – a teenage female being sexually abused by a male – was wrong, said Saewyc.
The survey found that one in every three children living on the street had been sexually abused, although many didn’t seem aware that they had been exploited, added Saewyc.
“It’s a shocking number! The law is clear: any adult who has sex with children for any form of consideration is exploiting them and it’s illegal,” she said.
“As in many cases, part of the challenge is that young males are not seen as being exploited because they are not coming to the attention of the police, and the police aren’t out there picking up the perpetrators. The system is set up to handle the sexual exploitation of young women, not young men,” Saewyc added.
“Most of the programmes to deal with sexual exploitation were designed by women for women. There’s really nothing out there for males. So we need programmes for young boys,” one concerned social worker told the Sunday Sun.
Head of the Men’s Education Support Association, Ralph Boyce, says although this type of sexual molestation is a known occurence, and has been happening for years, men keep these things secret.
“Men don’t usually talk about cases like these. This type of molestation is kept a secret – something they do not feel comfortable talking about.
“Generally men don’t think it is abuse, but this is all part of the gender inequality existing in our world.
“The “breaking in” of a young man is something, which is known to be done by a female member of the family or an older woman – usually a family friend of some sort.
“We had a case in Jamaica where a female teacher was having sex with a 14-year-old male student. When it was discovered, she was dismissed from teaching.”
Boyce believes that the same law which condemns men for having sex with under-age females should also see sexually molestation of young boys by women as a matter for the courts. However, with the males refusing to squeal on their “molesters”, where stands the law?
 Next week: The Law And An International Survey.

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