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DEAR CHRISTINE – Women lift up yourselves


marciadottin, [email protected]

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Dear Christine,
May the Lord continue to bless and guide you as you reach out to help the people in their emotional needs. I think you are doing a good job and I admire your words of wisdom and do hope you can point people in the right direction.
I am not a Barbadian by birth but have been married to a Barbadian for many years and I find a lot of the women here are focusing on the wrong things.
Many of them are interested only in clothing, shoes and bags, and as the young people would say, bling is the main thing. I have noticed that the focus is on the material benefits and not the development of the total person.
Hence, we have a lot of very selfish people in Barbados, especially women, who would rather throw away things than to give to those in need. Look at those few feeding the poor around the country or helping Auntie Olga and various charities in any significant way.
There are a lot of Bajan women who fall for men from across the Caribbean and before they know the man, you will hear that they are in bed with him. I have a number of students from the region staying at my house during the university year, and what a disappointment it is to see the number of Barbadian girls trekking to and from the two apartments.
There was one instance where I had to speak to a young lady who in the course of three years had affairs with three different fellows studying here who are from overseas. Her response was to stay out of her business.
She had a terrible time with one of the fellows based on their behaviour at my place. Today she is married and working in the public sector having graduated from the university. On two occasions I have had to interact with her and I could see the guilt.
My daughters are Barbadian women, and I am very proud of them. My godchildren are Barbadian and I am also proud of them. I would like to be proud of all Barbadian women, but they must strive to live uplifting lives.
– Worried Citizen
Dear Worried Citizen,
Let me say from the outset that I agree with you that we would want to be proud of all women in Barbados. Yes, we should strive to help everyone live a wholesome and uplifting lifestyle. But, that would be Utopia, and since we are here on this blessed island, we have to expect both the good and the bad.
While I try my best to point people in the right direction, you, too, can help make a difference. You seem articulate and well educated and should use your strengths of persuasion to deal with those negative situations you come across, rather than being a mere armchair critic.
The same pride you exhibit in your children, you should want to in your neighbour or that misguided soul.
The issue of Barbadian women interested in clothing, and bling, is not unique to the women of this island. All across the region, I see women interested in such things. You should remember that as the society becomes more affluent people will want to enjoy the finer things in life. After all, hard work has its rewards.
I do not think it is true to say that those giving generously are in the minority in Barbados. Just check the service clubs, ask at many of our schools, speak to the priests and pastors at our churches. Look at the response to the situation in Haiti and think of the way people reached out to those in need.
Of the issue of Barbadian women falling for men from other islands, that is nothing new nor is it unique to the ladies of this island. It is also true that Barbadian men have sought partners from across the Caribbean. Relationships, especially at colleges, for all sorts of reasons may not last or work out. You are not pointing to anything new.
You should perhaps reach out in a different way to the students who are your boarders. I would suggest you seek guidance from student afffairs at the campus, the students’ guild, or talk to the people at the Barbados Family Planning Association and even the churches and youth groups within your area to come up with a way of helping those young people of the region.
– Christine

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