Thursday, April 25, 2024

DE MARKET VENDOR: A few lashes for my girl Kamla

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SO LAST week de talk was ’bout Bajan women and powder. One woman, while laughing all de way from Canada, tell me it was a little sexist. See what does happen to Caribbean women when them spend too much time in places like Canada? Them can’t tek a joke!
But she forget I also write ’bout the men in the same article! A Bajan brudder in Grenada call to tell me that the Spice Isle girls wearing powder too. A Lucian cousin say, “garcon, eh eh, the Lucian girls love powder too, oui”. And as far away as Kingston I hear that the sistas does use powder, so apparently this is a Caribbean thing.
This week though, I got to put some lashes pun my girl Kamla Persad-Bissessar, the first female prime minister of Trinidad and Tobago. Now wunnah know that I Market Vendor is one of the biggest fans of the lady. She is a class act but right now she uttering some statements that mekking a poor vendor li’l uncomfortable.
Now I fully understand that she got to play to the national gallery in places like Chin Chin road in Cunupia, and Chaguanas, and El Socorro road and Arima and Toco and Croisee in Curepe.
In short, she got to play to the people that vote fuh she although she woulda get every vote in the vendor’s house if we coulda vote in the elections, especially coming after Patrick. She did bound to look good and to win, but cud’dear Kamla, first you mek Caribbean people feel like them is mendicants and beggars by saying that Trinidad and Tobago was not an ATM machine fuh the region.
Exactly what you did mean by that? Does T&T really do that much fuh the region? Patrick wouldn’t even give my boy Ambassador Kellie a break and sign the little fishing agreement so the folks in he constituency capital of Moon Town, St Lucy, could celebrate and drink fish broth as testament to the resolution.
And obviously since you come in that is not high on your priority list.
I Market Vendor understand that and I wid you all de way, but the ATM thing really cut deep, especially when we buying and supporting you goods and services, Kamla! And right now I hear that unnah planning a gas pipeline from Trinidad via Tobago to Bubbadus to sell we more gas.
So wunnah want to sell Bubbadus gas via an underground pipeline but can’t sign an agreement fuh we to tek back some of we flying fish that drift into wunnah waters in Tobago? Kamla, wunnah cannot even filet de damn fish but want to say they belong to wunnah and that wunnah will seize boats and imprison men. Fuh true Kamla, you would do that?
And now this latest statement that the Caribbean Court of Justice is not a priority fuh you – you fuh real, Kams? Iffing it is not a priority, wha de hell the headquarters of the CCJ doing in Port-of-Spain?
How it look that the headquarters in your country and you not a member? That is like the UN in New York but the USA  is not a member! I sure the CCJ could find a suitable building here in Bubbadus to house it, at least we is members and therefore we got credibility.
How could we be talking ’bout Caribbean unity, Caribbean Single Market, gas pipeline, but yet this is not a priority?
Kams, exactly how you define a priority and how far down de pole is the CCJ? Looka Kams, I getting vexed, so don’t call me right now.
This is the problem in the region, we de people ready long time, we integrate, we movementate, percolate and we procreate, but wunnah politicians vupsing as my Trini brethren would say!
Kams, I still love you too bad but you talk to me when I cool down.
I Market Vendor gone fuh now! You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear!

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