IF?YOU?CAN’T stand the cat, forget about the relationship.
That was the consensus of those who responded to this week’s question – One partner loves cats; they consider them part of their family. But the new person in their life, who seems to be the soulmate they have always been searching for, is not keen on keeping cats at all. What advice would you give that person so that they can keep both love affairs going – with their cats and with their new love?
The majority of those who responded suggested their cats are like family; therefore, anyone who comes into their lives must accept them as part of the package of being involved with them. For them it is similar to bringing children from a previous relationship into a new union.
Though there was overwhelming advice for the individual to insist their new partner accept their cats or walk, we suspect that most respondents were avid pet lovers.
We see the need for compromise in such a situation. There are pros and cons involved here, and sometimes the best way to achieve an acceptable level of contentment and happiness in life is to meet people halfway.
The following are edited responses.
“If you really love your pet you would not give it up. If you really hate cats you will not stick around either. I may be biased as a pet owner, but I believe if someone loves you that they would at least tolerate your beloved pet.”
“The person should really try to learn to love, or at least tolerate cats. If they have an allergic problem, this is understandable, but if not then they only have so much love in their hearts for certain living beings. Not a good sign.”
“You and your cats come as a package, so it’s all or nothing.”
“Until now my pets have ruled. Sometimes we believe that the other person is soulmate material and after a while you find out that is not the case. It’s the same for those who have children. I will not give up my pet; it’s like my child – naughty and all. I will keep it off the bed, but if you are not there it’s a different story.”
“Pets are a great judge of character.”
“It’s one thing when someone says ‘I’m afraid of cats and dogs’ versus ‘I hate cats and dogs’. No one that says they hate God’s creatures can come into my life or house.”
“All three of mine share my bed. Unlike a man, I know where their mouths go!”
“I have had people trying to win my love by pretending to be nice to my dogs. I watch you like a mother hen; I do not trust others with my pets. Animal lovers will bond immediately. A young relative once said that I took the dogs’ side of the story over hers. If you have fur and dander allergies don’t even start because the relationship cannot work.”
“He came and found my cat and I am sure that he will go and leave her. He has grown to like her. My cat is somewhat antisocial and doesn’t let many people get too close to her, so you can imagine how I blew up when he held her against her wishes just to let his grandson pet her. She sleeps in the bed or wherever she wants – it is her house. I always tell him I am sure that she is faithful and loyal – but men?”
“Having a pet is good for a person. It lowers blood pressure, eases headaches and generally puts one in a good mood. I don’t agree that one should sacrifice a pet that one is close to for a person. Things may or may not work out, but at the end of the day you still have your pet. My motto is “I come with the cat. Are you compatible?”
“Realistically speaking, a compromise should be arrived at especially if the person is allergic. But then if the person just has a silly reason for hating pets, then that person got to go.”•“For those of us who do not like cats enough to have them around, much less in our beds, I believe the compromise can come with pictures, books or any other memorabilia. “If you’ve had a cat urinate on your pillow as I experienced as a child, then maybe you’d see it our way! Also cats (female) are very protective of their owners and it’s not easy trying to get close without getting a scratch or two. Should we really have to deal with that?”
“If you found your partner with a cat would you want him to get rid of it for you? Think of it as a child. Would you expect him to get rid of his child for you because you had a bad experience with children? And don’t say that a human is something else because it is not.”
“One has got to give. Common sense dictates he goes with the relationship. Opportunities lost are not usually regained, so let go of the pet.
“Even though pets have ways of providing comfort to us, they cannot replace human companionship. Can you make love to your cat tonight?”
“I’m not a fan of dogs; nevertheless, if someone I’m close to has dogs, I will make an effort to build a relationship with them.
