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DE MARKET VENDOR: What’s in a nickname?

rhondathompson, [email protected]

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This week De Vendor dealing with nicknames, a pastime that endears itself to most Bubbajans. Sometimes the names do justice to the people but at times it is hard to follow.
An unfortunate guy called Dog Killer was a bus driver – a name he got when swerving to miss a dog and killed a woman. That was a bit unfair to the poor man! Then there was Lion Man, a tall imposing policeman who lived up to his name and reputation.
Leaders had nicknames too. John Michael Geoffrey Manningham Adams was a distinguished Prime Minister of Bubbadus but everyone knew him as Tom; and National Hero and Father of Independence Errol Walton Barrow was to all and sundry Dipper or The Skipper. Over in Jamaica there was Michael Manley, whom the people dubbed Joshua and indeed he was!
Entertainers are special; your mother give you a nice name like Slinger Francisco but you call yourself Sparrow. Also, Sugar Aloes and Cro Cro and what the hell is the Mighty Chalkdust? A sweet name like Stedson Wiltshire but you is Red Plastic Bag? The Mighty Liar, why would you call yourself a liar?
The mind boggles about the name Lady Saw and Lady Ga Ga and M&M is certainly no candy! Sean Combs, a nice enough name but he choose other names and still can’t mek up he mind; first Puff Daddy, then P Diddy, then simply Diddy!
Chris Brown should definitely change his, however!
Why would a big steel band call themselves the Gay Desperadoes. Back then gay simply meant happy.
Jamaican artistes got some sweet names too – Beenie Man, Vybz Cartel, Movado, Buju Banton, to name a few. Actually, why don’t parents forget naming children and just give them a number till them old enough to decide what they want to be called.
The Village People were very macho-looking men. In fact, they sang a song called Macho Man but you and I know they were all sweet boys!
Leroy Sisnett, the original oldie goldie man, was dubbed Sweet Boy Leroy by a lady from St Lucia named Lucita Albert. That name and the music carried Roy to Parliament from 1976 to 1986. The fella pun VOB 92.9 FM in the afternoon get baptised Ian, but Mr Gill name heself Cupid! And the women luv he real bad!
Carl Hooper to his adoring Bajan fans is Sir Carl and although he got a biblical name like Joseph, the commentator we know and love prefers to be addressed as Reds Perreira! When I did first hear the nickname Big Cat I thought it was a woman but it turned out to be a boxer!
But the best of all must be the fella who was the talking point in Bubbados over the past few weeks. The story is that he robbed his favourite prostitute and ended up being found guilty in the Supreme Court. The prostitute said she knew him only as Iron Pig and he was a regular customer.
I was impressed by the prostitute’s takings for the night – over $800 plus the fact that she was banking her money, having withdrawn a large sum from the credit union. That night instead of a deposit Iron Pig made a withdrawal, an illegal one! I wonder if she charges VAT on the services and if she now adds the additional 2.5 per cent!
Anyhow, I hope that Iron Pig is “proper and able to stand up to the rigours of the season.
I Market Vendor gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?