Dear Christine,
I suspect you are a professional and independent woman, so maybe you can tell me why Bajan men seem so afraid of getting involved with an upwardly mobile woman like me.
My experience has been that men are intimidated by my success. They look at the fact that I am a professional with my own successful small business, my own home with no mortgage, beautiful car, and I’m not yet 45. I have a child, so I don’t need anymore children.
All I need is someone worthy enough to share my life with.
But, Christine, no matter how nice I am, most men just don’t stay around me for more than six months.
I must admit that I am not too free with sex, in that I have to get to know someone first and really appreciate them before I do that. So the last couple of guys left after a few months because they could not bed me just so.
My only wish is to meet someone who appreciates a hard-working, God-fearing woman.
I know that I am a good catch and would be loving and faithful to the right man. My problem is that I am not meeting anyone who seems worthy of my love. Any idea where I can meet men like that?
– Searching For Love
Dear Searching For Love,
First, I need to congratulate you on your wisdom in not rushing to become intimate. This is one of the biggest mistakes many women make each day.
Somehow too many women seem to think that they can catch a man if they go to bed with him and show him how good they are.
Experience has shown that men often don’t respect women who are “too easy”, and such relationships tend to revolve around the physical more than anything else.
The truth is that the average man tends to be interested in as much sex as he can get, and if he does not have to commit himself to get it, even better. This differs from the average woman, who tends to be more interested in love and security.
The reality is that there is more to most women than sex.
We are intelligent, fun-loving, skilful people and this aspect of our personalities must take precedence if we are seeking to have a serious relationship.
Therefore this emphasis on sex causes more problems than anything else.
I can well imagine how frustrating it is starting and finishing courtships this quickly. But your approach is the best. The men who can’t wait and get to know you don’t really want to do that anyway – they have another agenda. So the faster you get rid of them the better.
As for where you can find your special man, I would say any place and everywhere. What I mean is that there is no particular place to meet your Mr Right.
He may be someone you know right now but never took seriously, for whatever reason, or he may be someone you may meet through your business dealings.
One never knows about these things.
The best you can do is to remain the decent individual you seem to be. Have lots of friends and acquaintances and enjoy your success.
Remember, though it would be desirable to have a partner, your happiness does not hinge on having a man in your life. I hope this helps.
– Christine
