Tuesday, April 16, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Afraid sister might throw us out of home

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Dear Christine,I would like your advice on what I can do to protect my future.
The problem is that my sister and her husband intend to return here to live. But instead of buying a property, she has told my mother that she will turn our wooden house into a wall structure and then build on upstairs. 
So we would have a big two-storey building with us living downstairs and she and her husband upstairs.
Though I would like to live in a better looking house, I have a difficulty with the plan because my younger brother and I live in the house and after my sister has spent all of that money, we could find ourselves out in the cold.
I say this because my sister is my mother’s first child and 12 years older than me. She went away with her father and has been overseas all this time. The land and house we live on was originally owned by my sister’s father, but I understand that he has passed it on to her.
Me and my brother’s father was the person my mother went with after she and my sister’s dad split up. But given the relationship my mum and sister’s dad had, he asked my mother to stay in his house and look after his parents who lived nearby. 
After his parents died, he came back and sold that property as it was bigger than the one we are on. But he repaired ours for my live in with us as we were young and our father had moved on.
Now, 15 years on, we are still here, the house needs repairs and my brother and I don’t work for a lot of money, so we cannot repair it.
What I want to know is what can be done to ensure we are not turned out of the only home we know when my sister builds on?
– G.S. 
Dear G.S., 
Based on what you said, the house is your sister’s and she can ask you and your brother to leave right now if she wants to. 
She does not have to wait until she builds on top of your existing house.
The reality is that the property was never owned by your mother. She has only been living there courtesy of your sister’s father. 
That said, I wonder why you feel your sister would want to push you and your brother out in the cold? 
Since each of you share the same mother, surely your sister would not take such a step unless there are reasons which are not mentioned here that would come into play.
Likewise, your mother must by now be near pensionable age, if not a senior citizen, so I’m sure your sister would not want to hurt her by casting her two other children out in the cold just like that.
GS, I am aware that these things do happen in families and one should not dismiss your fears. But unless you were told something, or know of something that would suggest this will be her action, then I urge you not to focus on such negative thoughts as they are sure to depress you.
My advice to you is to discuss your thoughts with your mum so that she would be able to speak with your sister about it. 
I would also encourage you and your brother to go into the National Housing Corporation and register to get your own home. 
– Christine   
 

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