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BLABBERMOUT’ BABSIE: We live in a crazy world

BEA DOTTIN, [email protected]

BLABBERMOUT’ BABSIE: We live in a crazy world

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HOW LIFE treatin’ yuh, soul? Yuh receive yuh nusual roses an’ choc’lits las’ week?  Well chile, after readin’ ’bout some o’ de lengfs people abroad went to celebrate Valentine Day, it mek muh begin to realize yoomans is all de same. Jes’ to be diff’rent, duh would try anyt’ing.  
In dis neck o’ de woods, I din feel de nusual buzz dis year, maybe ’cause money en flowin’ too free, an’ people now pullin’ in duh belts a few notches, hopin’ fuh t’ings to ease up soon. My nighber daughter got a flower shop, an’ she tell we dat fuh Valentine Day, some women does phone in a order fuh duhself to arrive at de office, so duh won’ feel lef’ out when flowers start arrivin’ fuh ethuh people.
I en know ef women abroad into dah nonsense, but it seem to me dat people had some real crazy ways to celebrate Valentine Day dis year. In London, de Waxworks Museum – de one wid all dem famous people – open duh doors to de public to come in an’ kiss duh “Valentine Heart-throb”, an’ flim stars was at de top o’ mos’ people lis’. Action man Bruce Willis was a big hit.  
In Amurca, fifteen couples went to de Empire State Buildin’ to get married – fourteen stop off at de 64th floor to tek duh vows but one darin’ couple went right to de top, de 86th floor. After all de fuss, I hope dah marriage never en’ like Humpty Dumpty. It would be quite a tumble. While dah couple went as high as duh could, a nex’ pair went in de ethuh direction – down – in de London Aquarium fuh a onderwater blessin’.  
De bride was wearin’ a flowin’ white gown onder she divin’ apparatus, an’ de colour o’ de groom tie was sea-blue. De onlies’ “guesses” was nuff giant sea turtles an’ colourful, tropical fish swarmin’ all ’roun’ duh feet in de aquarium. A t’ird couple din want to be up nor down – mid-air was good enuff fuh dem – an’ en’ up sayin’ duh vows while hangin’ from ropes durin’ a mountainside ceremony in Thailand. De folk in Nicaragua had diff’rent ideas. I could only say dem mussee great animal lovers to tek Valentine Day to use as a excuse to promote animal protection laws. Two dogs, one dress as de bride, de ethuh de groom, went t’rough duh own weddin’ ceremony to raise awareness of the law.  
Apart from de couple swingin’ in mid-air to tek duh vows, fourteen ethuh couples celebratin’ Valentine Day in Thailand set out to brek de record o’ 32 hours 7 minutes an’ 14 secon’s, set in Germany in 2009, fuh de World’s Longest Continuous Kiss. One participant faint ’way jes’ 34 minutes into de competition, but de winnin’ couple went on fuh 46 hours, 24 minutes an’ 9 secon’s, kissin’ non-stop. Some kiss. Rules was strick, doh. Baffroom visits evuh t’ree hours, but only wid a staff member present to mek sure kissin’ din stop.  
I been tryin’ to use my imagination how dah went down, widout any success. No sittin’, sleepin’, nor eatin’ at any time. Duh could only drink water, juice or milk t’rough a straw, while keepin’ duh lips firmly press togedduh.   
Dah winnin’ couple cyhan evuh fuhget Valentine Day dis year. Dem went t’rough real purgatory to brek a record. Call dis worl’ crazy? Maybe yuh better off sennin’ yuhself a rose.
 Tek care o’ yuhself
 Yuh frien’ Babsie