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Politicians and funerals

CAROL MARTINDALE, [email protected]

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I doan know how ya all feel ’bout what I am going tuh talk ’bout this week, but it is something dat I have been watching for a good li’l while now when I go tuh funerals.
Now I must be honest wid you: I doan really like the lotta funerals ’cause duh does depress me, especially when ya hear the eulogy being read and the body dat reading it talking soft and timid, or duh far away from the microphone and ya cahn understand one word duh saying.
Another reason I does cahn take some funerals is dat you does know the person lying there in dat casket since Adam was a lad and you would sit down there and listen tuh somebody reading off pages and pages o’  things ’bout dah said same person dat fuh all the umpteen years you never knew. All of a sudden you does find ya’self looking round and wondering if you at the right funeral, ’cause you clearly ain’t know who the France the body talking ’bout. It cahn be dat body in the casket – fuh real.
Then duh got some people who does go tuh funerals only tuh let the family see dat dem there. As some people would say, duh went tuh show duh face. It doan be ’bout the service, the songs or the very word o’ the songs; it is just a show tuh some people.
And wha’ ’bout the ones who like tuh be up front and centre just tuh see people brekking down and crying; the ones who up tuh the time dat the ceremony ovah and evahbody walking out the church, doan remember one single word the pastor or minister say ’bout duh souls but does be staring all ’bout the people church tuh see who there and who ain’t there, who should be crying and who ain’t look like it really matters, who wearing what, and who should know or even look better.
And duh got the funeral dramatists. Dem is the ones who does cry like duh mudda dead just by watching the family members express duh grief. Ya does hear dem saying after, how when this body begin tuh cry it really touch dem and dem couldn’t control duhselves after dat.
But duh got another set who really takes the cake. I does watch dem wid interest, sympathy and at times sheer disgust. I talking ’bout the politicians. Now evahbody know dat dem, like a lot o’ other people, does go tuh funerals tuh show duh face too and because dem is who duh is, duh does be seated prominently in high places, up front and centre in duh big dark suits and looking important.
As far as I am concerned I think dat these politicians should go tuh the church, walk up tuh the door where the family is, greet the family, look in the casket at the deceased, walk back out the door, sign the condolence book, walk back tuh their big ride, get in it and drive long back tuh the office and do the people work. I doan think dem politicians have any business sitting through a whole funeral service ’cause duh look bored, bored, bored.
You think I making sport? The other day I was at a funeral and duh had at least five or six Government ministers seated in two different rows in front o’ me, and two was in the seat directly in front o’ me ’cause I was up front in the reserve section at this particular funeral. I ain’t gine tell ya nuh lie, these two people talked the entire time, through the songs, through the Bible readings, the offering, the prayers and the very sermon.
At one time I felt like I would reach forward, tap dem pon duh backs and tell dem tuh hush. Uh mean real deep conversations, ya know. Nuh li’l whizzy whizzy talk and done, hear? I see it as the height o’ disrespect fuh the family, the deceased, the church and the bereaved. These are the people who hold the highest office, the leaders o’ this country who should be more than aware of proper decorum. Dem should know how tuh conduct duhselves in public, especially at such occasions.
The people sitting behind me was mumbling and saying it ain’t the first time dat dem see this sort o’ thing so happening at a funeral wid the politicians, dat duh does do it all the time like if dem doan see one another, like if this is the only chance dem does get tuh socialize. But as fuh me, I was disgusted.• Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.