DE MARKET VENDOR: NISE day at de Licensing Authority
When yuh know what to expect yuh can plan to suit. tek West Indies cricket fuh example, I expect them to get beat whenever them playing; so when them win it is like getting bonus!
I did hear bout the NISE report pun service in government departments and which ones at de top and which did scraping de barrel but long before that report I use to pass through the Pine East /West road and look at the Licensing Authority with fear in muh heart.
I fin’ my self counting de days till I had to go back in there to get me driver’s licence renew and when I did see that Bubbadus finally come into the new technology age and the plastic cards wid yuh physio-ogg (yuh picture, yuh poppit!) pun it I did want to get one becausin any time yuh travel and yuh present the old faded pink book with the strips of paper people nuse-ed to look up at yuh like you drop off some other planet.
And sometimes yuh could see the li’l smirf pun duh faces and you might even get ask “what is this?”
Wha nuse-ed to hurt muh is to think that wha we Bajans does call small or low islands, (never mind most of them bigger than Bubbadus and definitely ain’t low wid mountains to mek yuh giddy) already had de plastic!
Finally the big day arrive and the vendor tek li’l bitters to settle the stomach and started to work to the plan, arrive there in mid-morning, I figure by then the staff had a chance to work out some of the hostilities and insults and most people got to get to wuk so wid a li’l luck I might get out of there before sundown.
And ah went prepared, I had checquebook and cash too, ID passport, birth, baptismal and marriage certificate (only the valid one) knowing I was gwine be there fuh de whole day.
I did beg Mistress Cheryl Newman to get li’l coconut shrimp and a red snapper ready to pick up from Champers becausin by one o’clock bad feels had to set in and a friend say he would pick it up.
I had smelling salts in case I pass out, cocoa tea and some of them small packets of spinach biscuits by Wibisco and I carry long Bill Clinton autobiography to read cause I know I in fuh a long wait.
A friend did warn me how he spend a whole day trying to get a bubbadus licence and how he wife had to bring food and how the window get shut in he face and 30 minutes later a next fella say wha you waiting fuh skippa? That man gone to lunch hear!
But none of dat happen to de Vendor, the place air condition, the staff did polite and helpful: “can I help you?” “Have a great day”, smiling and friendly and before I could holler Kodak moment I did in and out of there.
In fact my experience at de licensing authority was equal to the best experience I ever had in a government department and that is at the Intellectual Property Office.
I did’nt need de food but de vagabond I ask to pick up de lunch decide that since I didn’t need it he would esing Authority, tek a bow. wunnah is de best. As fuh muh friend who had the bad experience I understand, he is Guyanese and wunnah does got to check de foreigners carefully!
I Market vendor gone fuh now you have a blessed and a wonderful day yuh hearrr?