Most of us who went to public school loved Term 3 because it meant that summer vacation was right around the corner but hated it because it meant promotional exams were upon us.
Most of us also waited until less than two weeks before the exams to begin cramming for our exams.
As teachers sit and correct exams, we are shocked at many of the responses given and sometimes we have to conclude it is us, not the system, not the syllabus, not that the children aren’t revising, it is us. Clearly, we haven’t taught anything for the last year.
Below, I have compiled a list of questions asked and answers given in secondary school end of year exams in this country. I guarantee you will laugh, I am sure tears will also follow.
Without a shadow of a doubt, many of you will discuss these responses with work colleagues and friends but amidst all the laughter, please understand that your child put a lot of thought into answering these questions, as disturbing as some of the responses are, and many believe their answers to be correct.
I assure you that the responses below and the spelling have not been adjusted or tampered with and are reproduced exactly as presented in the examination.
Q: Definition for resources?
A: Wuh we does use fuh loving.
Q: What is a lime stone island?
A: An island that is shaped like a lime.
Q: Why is water important to Caribbean region?
A: Because the Caribbean is closest to the sun.
Q: Give five examples of physical features found in the Caribbean.
A: Walking, hopping, jogging, run, flipping [student 1].
A: Car, truck, van, bus, motor cycle [student 2].
Q: Name four reef animals.
A: Sea moss, fish, star fish, sea fan.
Q: Why should we protect the nesting turtles in Barbados?
A: Because they produce gold and alumin.
Q: What do you use to measure rain?
A: A rain gauge and it is placed at the airport because that is where the rain comes in.
Q: List five major religions in the world.
A: Earth, trees, animals, food and children.
Q: The distance all around an object is called the?
A: Cercomfrance.
Q: Is one a prime number? Give reason.
A: No, because Mr Worrell said so.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: A sickness that you catch at the airport.
Q: How many National Heroes are there in Barbados?
A: There are eight National Heroes, nine of which are dead.
Q: Why was Saul’s name changed?
A: Saul changed his name to soulman, to samule and to solomon.
Q: List five denominations.
A: Churches, bibles, christians, cross and a pastor.
Q: Who was Abraham?
A: He was the loving father of the sheep.
Q: Who was Mary Magdalene?
A: She was a prostitute or a slut, she was a dirty dirty hore and was ungodly.
Q: List two purposes of Government?
A: Free school meals and free learning.
Q: Name two weather systems found in the Caribbean.
A: Caribbean Weather and CMC Weather.
Q: Why was Saul on the Road to Damascus.
A: Saul was on his way to Damascus to do business; he went to see David and to deliver a message.
Q: Name two parables Jesus taught and the lesson in each of them.
A: Jesus taught to love and protect the parables, don’t care which parable just love and protect it like he love and protect you.
Q: What were the 12 men who travelled with Jesus called?
A: The 12 disciplines.
Q: What is the function of the Governor General?
A: To hang out with old people.
