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MAN TO WOMAN – Putting children in the middle

Carol-Ann Tudor

MAN TO WOMAN – Putting children in the middle

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Why is it that women love to use their children as a way of controlling men or as a way of punishing their children’s fathers? My friend’s former wife has three kids for him who he loves to the fullest. She constantly finds excuses as to why they can’t spend time with him, but has the audacity to constantly request money for them . . . Are all women like this? 
Joseph – All are not like that but I see it often where women do use children to get back at men and also to get money. The sad thing is that kids are often mistreated when these same women don’t get their way.
Man to Woman: I agree, Joseph. It is sad when women mistreat their children because the men have moved on.
Chris – My wife and I broke up because she put her mum and dad into our life. They were running her life and were a problem even before our child was born, so we split up. Even before that child was born my wife’s father was getting on like the child was his and they tried to do everything to stop me from seeing my child. I had to end up putting her in court and after that I got to see my child every other week. Then the problems started all over again – with her saying I can’t have her today because she is sick. 
Every time it was my turn to have my child, I was told she was sick, yet her mother never knew what the child was sick from. I went back to court again to let the judge know what was going on after not seeing my child for five and a half months! Could you believe the mother told the judge the reason she wasn’t allowing me to see her was because I was abusing my child? Women do use their children – they even go to the gutter to get at their boyfriends or former husbands, using innocent children in the process. But children need their fathers just as much as they need their fathers!
Man To Woman: This is a really sad experience, but I hope that has not stopped you from moving on and finding a good woman. As the old people say, “Day does run till night ketch it”.
Dexter – Ok, he loves his kids; he takes care of them – and she does that? Simple, she is a fool that still wants the man or she is just stupid. For some reason she doesn’t know how to ask him to take her back. Is the man a villain?  She either doesn’t like him or his friends or his neighbourhood or even his family. Thank God all women are not like her because I have kids too and I love them and some of the mothers. Respect should be due from both sides.
Man To Woman: Isn’t he a fool too for allowing her to walk all over him, requesting money constantly and still not allowing him to see his children? I may be wrong, but nothing will ever change if he doesn’t stand up to her.
Brian – I don’t believe all women are like that, but too many are. When a man really loves his child, some women use it against them because the laws in Barbados do not really speak to equality in these kinds of matters. I think most of the women that do that are jealous that the man has moved on, and they are seeking revenge. 
Man to Woman: I agree with you, Brian. There is a strong hint of jealousy here.
Controversy  –  Some women like to have their cake and eat it too. They don’t have a man but like to use the children to “withdraw” money from their fathers whilst at the same time unfairing these men by not letting them see their children. Women also like to use children to cause men pain when the men have moved on. They are spiteful instead of looking after the best interests of the children.Man to Woman: As a woman, I have to admit that quite a few are very spiteful and sometimes cause all to look bad, but using a child as a way to cause men pain is one of the silliest things a woman can do. 
– Note: I found it very hard this week to disagree with the men since most had very valid points. Women often use children as “emotional pawns” to gain an advantage over men. It is time they realize that the children are the onesthat they end up hurting the most.