DEAR CHRISTINE – 18 and stuck with man twice my age
I am 18 years old and involved with a 36-year-old man. I have been involved with him for over two years. We live together. Half his family do not like me, but my family likes him.
He has two children; I have none.
The youngest child, who is 12 years old, lives with him but hates me – I don’t know why. I did everything in my power for this child to like me, but nothing ever worked.
Christine, I really love this man, but recently we have been quarrelling over everything. He never works, so he can’t support me. I like to dress up and go out; he does not like that. When I tell him to come and go out, he tells me to go by myself as he doesn’t want to go.
I don’t keep friends and am always by myself, so since I have no one to go out with I remain at home. All I do is stay home and cook, wash, clean, and watch television.
He always wants me to act all mature but I can only act my age.
I want to have a child very badly but don’t know what to do. Half of me wants to leave but the other half wants to stay. But to me he really loves me as he shows me this at times.
What do you think is best for me? – ADVICE NEEDED
Dear Advice Needed,
To be quite frank, the best thing for you is to be out of that relationship.You are going nowhere fast.
At 18 you should be trying to further your education, not thinking about having a child. You should also not be living in a house with a man twice your age, along with his 12-year-old child, and having to cook, wash and clean for them like some maid.
What about your own family? Why did you move away from them and start living with this man?
What I find particularly troubling, too, is that, according to you, this man does not work and does not support you. So who supports you? How do you survive?
My dear, please don’t think that I am judging you, as I am not. I am just concerned for your welfare. Your living situation is very disturbing, and at your tender age the best thing is not to be part of this.