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DE MARKET VENDOR – I dun limin’ with dem Trinis!

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DE MARKET VENDOR – I dun limin’ with dem Trinis!

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Most people don’t realize that vendors travel more than some executives. They does travel up and down the Caribbean and to places like Colon, in Panama, Miami and Curacao looking fuh bargains.
This vendor had a taste, again, I might add, of Lucian planning and hospitality at the just concluded 20th St Lucia Jazz Festival. The Lucians know how to put on a top class festival and they did not disappoint, in fact, every year them getting better and better.
There I was liming wid the Bajan and Trini posse from the Caribbean Super Station who had their big launch in the Derek Walcott Square the Friday, at the jazz show. I got to say dey got brains,
staging a launch in the middle of the people jazz festival and getting them to allow the station morning people to be the MCs at the show.
The festival was sweet and de finale wid John Legend was an awesome experience. I eat plenty dasheen, green banana and mangoes till I had de runs and de belly! Ah also got to thank Oliver Haywood again. That poor man who phone I does call deserve a medal becausin he does manage to help muh everytime and at 12:30 in the morning ah fella was at muh door in Cap Estate delivering muh bag that somehow did get left in St Vincent whichin was not where I was coming from nor going to! Thanks, muh brudder.
But one thing I got to tell you is, I, Market Vendor, done liming wid them Trinis. Imagine I gone wid one Big George, the programme director of the Caribbean Super Station and he telling people how years ago he and another wufless Trini, one Tony Harford, was in Bubbadus and how I, Market Vendor, tek them to a place called de Zanzibar!
Me, George? Not Market Vendor. I coulda never take you there.
But boldface pick up he cellphone and call mister man Tony Harford who fuh all and sundry to hear say, yes, Market carried them to Zanzibar! In Africa! It can’t be any other, ‘cause I never went into no place named Zanzibar.
You see how these Trinis dangerous? So we off to find li’l food after jazz in Rodney Bay and two nice looking ladies want to massage de Vendor. Ah tell the therapist ah just eat a big plate ah food and ah would vomit iffing she massage.
But she persisted telling me if I change muh mind ah should call she, bear in mind it is already 1 a.m. She give muh she number and she mudder number. These tings does only happen when I wid dese Trinis!
Next day, the police got Pigeon Island cordon off and a shuttle service in place to tek you to the island fuh de show wid John Legend. Hear Big George, “Market, we driving in, you hear meh? You leh me do de talking.”
And de man proceed to bluff he way wid the policeman. I swear the policeman not budging but George promise he we going to collect micro wave links needed fuh another broadcast (what de hell is micro wave links? You does cook wid them?) and that we coming back just now. Just now?
Seven hours later when the show end, every time I see an officer, I figure he looking fuh we and I ducking. But the boldface Trini just large off heself and laughing.
I done wid them, them is dangerous people to lime wid and I ain’t even talk yet bout Jus Jase the muscle man and Miss Nikki Crosby from de morning pun the CSS!
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear!