DEAR CHRISTINE: All my boyfriend wants is sex
For some time now I’ve been concerned about a problem I am having, but felt too embarrassed to talk about it, hoping things would improve. They haven’t, so I need your advice on what you think I should do.
Christine, I’ve been with my boyfriend, who is in his mid-20s, for three months but all he ever wants to do is make love.
I suppose some women won’t complain – at least that’s what he tells me – but I’d rather our relationship was based on shared interests and so on, apart from sex.
I’m also in my mid-20s and wondering whether or not to finish with him. At our age we should be talking about our future, marriage and children.
We should be getting to know about each other’s likes and dislikes more, getting to know each other’s family and friends.
I care for him a lot but I really don’t know how he feels about me as we never seem to talk. When I try to get a conversation going, all I can get is a “uh, uh” and little else.
What do you think I should do?
It is a pity that you did not get to know more about your boyfriend’s likes and dislikes, his interests and other things before you became intimate with him.
Often, when men and women become intimate before they get to know each other well, their relationship does not have the foundation to develop and flourish.
Therefore, as I see it, he is using you to fulfil his physical needs – not your emotional ones.
It’s common at times for one partner in an intimate relationship to have a higher sex drive than the other, but if you loved and cared about each other, the two of you would reach a compromise.
Your boyfriend seems unlikely or unwilling to do this so, if you are already thinking about ending the relationship, perhaps you should.
It’s a decision you’re not likely to regret. Moving on would leave you free to find someone who’ll value you as a person not a sex machine.
It may be flattering initially to be thought of as the subject of someone’s desires but as you’ve found out, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.