Mixed on sperm donor issue
Online readers have mixed views on recent comments made by one pastor that some men are being used as “mere sperm donors” by financially independent women.
Pastor Clayton Springer, of the Wesleyan Holiness Church, expressed some concern about what he termed “the deliberate choice by an increasing number of professional women to have a child by use of a male as a sperm-donor but who refuses to allow any paternal relationship to be developed with the child”.Some readers agreed with the senior pastor, while others suggested reasons for the “trend”.
In a Nation Talkback, readers gave their views.
Perro Holloway: “It is just a reflection of society values. I agree with the good pastor that this is a carnal act. But I would add that we as men in this society are failing to be men and in turn failing our women.”
Conchita Moseley: “Why should they be denied this opportunity to have a child in this way? Thousands of women struggle to bring up children on their own without the support of their fathers. Some of these women can’t give an account of these men sometimes. If these women want to help a child have a good life, why prevent it? It is much better than adoption. “There is no guarantee that fathers will stick around. Today that is all some men are good for, ‘the sperm’. Most of them are good for nothing any[way]. Too many women are suffering at the hands of men.“There are hundreds of single parent families all over this world. If women want to spare themselves the headache and the heartache these men afflict upon us women good luck to them. I always feel threatened if I am not independent”.
Dev Bruce: “Well I don’t know where Mr Springer is living but single parent households have been the norm in Caribbean societies for a very long time. I also believe in a woman’s choice to choose how she wants to run her hous hold and how she chooses to have a child. When will we stop pushing our views on other grown adults?”
Eric Simms: “Children should have both a father and mother ideally, but better a single mother who is prepared mentally and financially to be one than a wife who suddenly becomes a single mother when her husband deserts her.”
Adrian Hinds: “I am against any lifestyle choice that deliberately places a child in a permanent single parent situation.
Brownsuggagal Jozi: “Why should a woman deliberately decide that she is going to get someone to get her pregnant and they cannot be a part of that child’s life whether he wants to or not just because she can afford it? It will be interesting for someone to do a study to find out if these women are really happy with their decision to do such or if it is their attitudes towards men and relationships that forces them to do this.“What I do know is that these so called ‘independent’ women when they get to their late 40s and 50s wish for the companionship of these same men that they would have discarded. A child is not an ornament or another achievement and should not be treated as such and where the father wants to be in the picture should always be allowed to do so.”
Lisa Taylor: “This has been happening for a long time so let’s not bury our heads in sand. Women’s financial and social status has improved since the last 100 years and there are certainly a lot of things women attain that they once had to depend on a man for. But (unfortunately) they still need them for making babies.”
Denise Best-Walrond: “It is always best to have both loving parents in a child’s life. Every girl needs a daddy to teach her how a man should treat her and every boy needs a strong good man to teach him to be one also. When we have well rounded children, we have a much better society of people. I know [there] are a lot of single women being both mom and dad because the sperm donor cannot be found but truth be told they would all say [there] are times they wish the father was present to provide the emotional support that they are missing.” Sammy Wallerson: “Nothing wrong with this in principle. However, that situation already exists by default but with women who have been abandoned by the fathers of the children. At least these women are in a better position to care for the children without having to battle for child support. More power to them I say.”