DE MARKET VENDOR – Goin’ back down de same road?
I GLAD I is only a simple market vendor becausing when I hear certain statements I know that I not cut out fuh high office.
Recently I hear out of Trinidad that some people was saying in relation to matters at CLICO, bring back Lawrence Duprey. And when I thought I woulda hear loud rejection of dat idea as madness, somebody in Bubbadus say they would have no objection to he coming back at de helm. They say that he is de best body to fix the mess since he was at the helm when it happen in de first place.
So me and fellow vendors decide one evening to carry that line of argument to the logical conclusion. A labourite say wunnah say that de Barbados Labour Party (BLP) mash up the country, so bring back Arthur and de BLP and let them fix things. And iffing my car come back from de mechanic and I got extra pieces lying ’bout from de engine and it sputtering like a choked toilet, ah should let de said same mechanic have a go at it a second time rather than find a competent mechanic to fix it?
Iffing you hairstylist dye you hair and instead of red like my girl Rihanna, it come out yellow like corn meal flour, you gwine go back to de same hairdresser and tell she to fix it? Fuh true?
A next vendor say, supposing a fella did wukking in a bank as manager and nuff funds disappear and he disappear too; Market, you would feel comfortable with that man back in charge of de bank wid you money in it? And while all these scenarios not relevant to CLICO, I still wondering iffing I would want de person pun whose watch de thing came tumbling down back in charge again.
De outside woman mash up the marriage. Hear de pastor: “Well, I think we should have Sheila become friends wid de two of wunnah – after all, she knows yuh husband intimately. I am sure she can offer you some tips on how to fix dis marriage”. Lawd, looka de murder rate gine up!
And then there was dis story ’bout professional women who opting fuh sperm donors instead of full-time husbands and having children alone, and Pastor Springer is dead set against de practice. These days divorce real expensive: de ex gine get half, the rest must go to pay de lawyer, so de women avoiding that confusion upfront. Look at the field de women got to choose from. One third of the field like de same thing, the men like men, sweet boys fuh days. Then the next set, ’bout another one third, liming pun de block, don’t wuk no way, don’t wear shirts, underwear down by duh knees and they smell bad. So no self-respecting woman want them in duh BMW nor Mazda, nor duh house. Ah next one third married and looking fuh something pun de side. The women ain’t going to be no standby love.
Ah next set ah men real duncy. Dese women went to university at Cave Hill and know de difference between “a don” and a man name Don. Ah next set already is sperm donors – a child here, a child there. Dese women don’t want that. De few good men gone. So de women decide to choose a man wid good genes and get de child all the while saving divorce fees. They also save half de house – no heartbreak when he horn yuh; just buy de jack rabbit. It will never let yuh down.
I Market Vendor gone fuh now; you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?