Dear Christine,
I have a friend whose boyfriend of over 15 years left her and married another girl he was seeing on the side.
He was with my friend, then they broke up, then he was with this girl, and so it was on and off. My friend was supposedly the main one.
Finally, he left her and married the other girl. They now have a child together, and he gave her (his wife) a car. My friend was devastated. In all the years they were together she got nothing like that.
Since this episode in her life, she has allowed herself to become involved with all kinds of men, even becoming intimate with them within a week or month of meeting them.
To me, this is the height of stupidity.
She believes this kind of behaviour will help her forget this man. She has even gone abroad and within two weeks of meeting a virtual stranger, got involved with him.
I got this straight from the horse’s mouth.
Christine, I think this is a very unwise thing to do. Can you shed some light on this? I’ve already tried, but to no avail.
– TY
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Dear TY
Breaking up is never easy, especially when you’ve been betrayed by someone you’ve been faithful to for more than 15 years.
Your friend is hurting badly from this relationship, but now she is setting herself up for trouble down the road, especially if she keeps having affairs with virtual strangers.
I do not think that this man is worth the pain, frustration and hurt she is putting herself through.
Based on what you have said, it is entirely possible that he was cheating while he was in the relationship with your friend. Who is to say that he is not living a lie with his wife?
Your friend is better off without him.
She needs to recognize that she is a woman of worth, and should hold her head up and ask God for strength to make it through each day. Someday the right person will come along.
Sadly, though, if she continues on her current path she could end up with some sexually transmitted disease, or even HIV/AIDS. She needs to guard herself against these.
If possible, she should be encouraged by you or a family member to get professional counsel as she charts the way forward.
– CHRISTINE
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