DEAR CHRISTINE – She cheated on me years ago
First let me say that not only teenagers read your letters. A number of older folks do.
Here is a problem I’ll like to share with you. Both my wife and I are 70 years old, and we’ve had some really happy years.
Sadly, though, those happy years we’ve spent together are now marred by something I have accidently discovered.
My wife asked me to find a crochet needle for her which she thought might be in one of the closets at home.
Well, I found the needle but I also found a letter from someone whom she seemed to have been quite involved with during my years overseas in the army.
When I confronted her with it, she pretended not to remember, and then when she did, she said “oh, yes, I remember now. He was a flirt who thought he was in love with me”.
She admitted liking him, but said that he left no lasting impression on her mind.
She also said she was surprised that that letter was still around. I feel very depressed over this discovery, and I do not know what to do. Can you help?
– Mr T
Dear Mr T,
I don’t know if I can help, but I do believe that you should put this behind you. Let’s be practical!
Your wife has not admitted to having any relationship with this man. Don’t you believe she is telling the truth? If she is telling the truth and you become depressed, what good is that to you?
On the other hand, if she did have a fling with this man many years ago, and you’ve only just discovered it, is that a reason to be depressed?
Will it change anything? Another question is this: “Is this man still in your wife’s life”?
You’ve got to see the positive side of this. Many lonely women, especially those whose husbands are serving overseas, sometimes seek love from other men in their husband’s absence – and vice versa.
Some of them fall in love, and when their spouse returns, they want to get a divorce.
Your wife is different. She waited for you and you were reunited. She was flirted with by this man, but there is nothing to prove that she was unfaithful to you.
Please, for your sake and the sake of your wife, put the past out of your mind.
It must be very distressing for your wife to be under suspicion from you about something that happeneda few decades back.
Live for now; live for the moment, and make good use of the years you still have with each other.