Thursday, March 28, 2024

DE MARKET VENDOR – It was de mother of all shows

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ROBYN RIHANNA FENTY, a little girl from Westbury Road, returned there last Friday night and stopped off at Kensington Oval for a couple of hours before heading home.
She was LOUD, woke up everybody in the neighbourhood and announced she was home and not a fella call de police to pull de plug. At least 30 000 people ram into Kensington Oval fuh de coronation of de Bajan princess as De Bajan Queen.
I never ever see so many beautiful Bajan women in muh life. Muh eyes and muh neck did spinning like a periscope outa control at de weaves, hairdos, shirts, paint on micro minis, body-hugging outfits. I wanted to be security and do body searches.
Any other night ah woulda go into cardiac arrest. Thank God muh friends and two of de finest cardiologists in de world, Jeff Massey and Richard Ishmael, did in the audience, but pun dis night even though I was in de company of six of de most beautiful Bajan women pun de earth, there was only one woman fuh de Vendor and she name was Rihanna!
And if de madam was going to get and tek a horn, while I ain’t check out what ah telling yuh, I feel iffing she know it was Rihanna who horn she, she woulda forgive muh. Iffing Rihanna ever had doubt that she is loved and adored by Bubbadus, de fact that more than ten per cent of de population come out to show she de love would erase it.
Can you imagine any event in de USA or Britain that could in a single night bring out more that ten per cent of de population? White, black, Indian, Chinese, mulatto, negro and chigro, old and young, slim, fat and in-between, man, woman and in-between, come to pay homage to the No. 1 music star in the world today, Rihanna.
It was de mother of all shows, production and performance never before seen pun a stage in Bubbadus, de stuff yuh does see from de Grammys and de Oscars, a world-class event by a girl from de village next door. De performance was flawless, voice impeccable, de production, dancers, musicians, wardrobe, stage lighting and sound world-class.
When she was done nearly two hours later, it was like if she did just start and we did want more. Machel was there, the Prince, Brian Lara, Rupee and Bag too. Women faint from sheer pleasure. I did want to faint too but wid only Seon DeFreitas to lift me pun de gurney I guzzle some Bajan coconut water from Chetwyn and all was copacetic.
God bless Evan and Jackie Rogers fuh giving dis gorgeous lass the chance of a lifetime. And while I know that there might be legitimate concerns ’bout de food and drinks, some creature comforts, park and ride and after-party, iffing I did want food I woulda gone by Cheryl Newman at Champers, not Kensington, and iffing I did want an after-party I woulda gone to Oistins and let Uncle George cook some shrimp, lobster and fish fuh de Vendor, which is exactly what de posse did and even though it was one-thirty in de morning, Uncle George fire up de grill and feed de famished!
Rihanna could claim proudly, veni vidi vici – I came, I saw, I conquered! Now, my Bajan queen, in yuh own words, “Shut up and drive!”
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now; you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?
 

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