Last Saturday evening, I attended a wedding in St James. It was the first wedding I had ever been to which was held at a home. Nonetheless, it was a beautiful, warm and fun evening.
The ceremony and reception were held on the well maintained lawn, which was covered with chairs, tables, tents, lights, speakers, decorations and the list goes on. Everything was done to a professional standard and felt like any other wedding.?But what I found more amazing was that the occasion was managed, supported and produced by the couples’ family, friends and church.
Weddings are supposed to be a time of celebration, happiness, and the bringing together of people in a festive atmosphere. Unfortunately for some, theirs is filled with stress, disappointment, bickering, fallouts, “cuss outs”, sadness and depression.
I believe people would love their wedding day to be peaceful, enjoyable and filled with excitement but we need to remember it is just a day – one single day. Actually, it generally lasts anywhere between one to five hours.
I have heard stories of people who wanted a “big” wedding, took out loans and are still struggling to repay them some five plus years later, and who spend $2 000 on a wedding dress they will wear once and then place in a wardrobe to catch dust. And don’t tell me you keeping it for your daughter because you didn’t wear your mother’s!
I have always had a challenge with the expectations of friends and family members when it came to weddings.
It almost seems as if the wedding is all about them. Sadly, we allow others to dictate what our weddings will be like but at our expense. You have ‘friends’ who would spend $500 on a suit to wear in your bridal party that would think hard about giving you that money as a gift.
One of the challenges most couples face isn’t who to invite to the wedding but who not to invite due to fear of offending and losing friends. This challenge presents itself when there is food involved as that can be a hefty bill. I am sorry but everyone can’t come to the wedding.
I heard a story of a couple who had just about 240 people at their wedding and paid $110 per plate for their guests. That works out to be $26 400 to feed people for two hours.
I am sure that can cover some people’s mortgage for one year or some people’s rent for two.
I want to introduce you to an idea and you can let me know what you think.
If you were going overseas to study or live or were celebrating your birthday and held a get-together at a restaurant and invited your friends, I am sure they would cover your expenses by paying for your drinks, food and entertainment for the night.
Why is it that this approach isn’t applicable to wedding celebrations? Why is it that when you are getting married, you are expected to cover everyone’s food bill?
I know people will say that’s what the gift list is for but I have witnessed people having 40 items on a gift list and only getting five, people asking for monetary donations and receiving very little. I have friends who told me if they had the opportunity they would do their weddings differently.
Your wedding should be about you and your fiancé first. Weddings last a few hours, it’s in the marriage that the true investment must be placed.
In an attempt to please others and give a “good impression” we consume ourselves with unnecessary, avoidable debt to which many on the guest list don’t lend a hand to help clear.
It is a beautiful and peaceful experience to enter marriage debt-free. I did it and I would love for you to experience it also.
