DEAR CHRISTINE – Waiting on ‘my married man’
MY REASON FOR WRITING to you is because you give true and frank answers and I need your advice.
I have been having an affair with a married man, who works in the same office as I do. It has been going on for a long time now.
He comes to my house almost every night and sleeps with me until the early hours of the morning; then he goes home to his wife and children.
This man gives me everything I need. Last year he even took me overseas on a trip. I am sure his wife and children do not get half the attention he gives to me.
For some time now, I have been asking him to get a divorce from his wife. He said he would but until now, he has done nothing about it.
Do you think I should approach his wife and ask that she give him a divorce?
I am really fed up with him just sleeping with me and nothing else.
I also feel embarrassed about the staff at work knowing about our affair. My mother tells me not to worry, he will soon marry me.
She likes him because he gives me everything we want. What should I do?
– Tired Of Waiting
Dear Tired of Waiting,
Your lifestyle is not becoming of a lady. What you have become to this man is his sex toy; that’s why he comes, sleeps with you, then leaves to return home to his nest – even if it is in the wee hours of the morning.
You have shown no respect for yourself or his wife, and your mother is not a good example at all.
How would you feel if you had a daughter and her husband was cheating on her the way this man is cheating on his wife with you? Or, rather, how would you feel if you were the wife?
I suppose that every girl or woman who gets involved with a married man is confident that their affair will end with him taking her to the altar. Not so! At least, not in many cases!
Sometimes when these girls or women face the futility of their hopes, they withdraw. More often than not the man promised them the world, then called it quits and returned to his wife or went on to have another affair.
You will have to be satisfied with the nights he spends with you and the gifts he gives. I must emphasise that I am really disappointed that your mother would want you to barter your time and body because of the gift-giving.
I am sure in your heart that you want more than material things. If that’s what you really want, then you know there’s only one thing you can do: stop this adulterous affair and seek a better life for yourself.
Why be someone else’s spare tyre? Spare tyres are only used when there is an emergency, but they are returned to the boot when a new tyre has been purchased.
The choice is up to you.