MAVIS BECKLES – My favourite pastimes
If you were tuh ask some people what their favourite pastimes are, you would hear all sorts o’ simple and at times offbeat things dat they enjoy doing and doan cost dem a penny, but does make dem very happy.
But you see me? I have several. There are a good few things dat I enjoyed doing fuh years now; but sadly, I had tuh stop doing some o’ dem because duh got a lot o’ lawless people who does just be walking ’bout interfering wid people and things dat doan call tuh dem; all duh does be doing is only stopping ya from enjoying a simple, peaceful life.
But as I said, I have several.
I used tuh like tuh get in my li’l old puma, make sure it got in gas and just drive around the country. I would stop when I butt-up pon a breathtaking view, of which there are many in this li’l island, tuh take pictures of the beautiful sceneries.
I used tuh enjoy the thrill of getting lost somewhere in the country and then finding my way out again, much tuh my children’s horror.
Another one o’ my favourite pastimes was parking by a nice beach, reclining my seat, rolling down my windows and just reading a good book. It would be so peaceful dat sometimes I would just doze off there fuh a while.
One o’ the most precious things I find, though, is tuh sit and watch li’l people, no matter what colour they might be, playing and enjoying demselves. Sometimes duh doan have a clue ’bout who is who, who come wid who or even where duh come from, but duh does be playing and enjoying each other company as if dem did know one another long before.
And yet another one: my very favourite of all is sitting down in a relatively busy area and watching people of all shapes, colours and sizes going ’bout duh business, obviously not aware dat somebody watching and observing dem. It could be too funny, though.
But ya know what does kill me off nowadays? It is the young people. Now, first of all, it does amaze me how duh does dress. The women – fat, bony, short or tall – does have evahthing hanging out, top and bottom; and rain or shine duh does have two flat cardboard slippers pon duh foot and a lot o’ dem barely scrawl up, then.
Then the fellas now does have duh hair plait back or plait up suh tight dat it does have dem looking like duh always surprise. Doan talk ’bout the clothes duh wearing at all. Dem does look too funny, though. You could imagine dat all o’ dem does have the nerve tuh wear a belt in duh pants? But instead of it round duh waist, it must be ‘round duh foot and then duh does have tuh have it grabble up all the time so it won’t fall off.
And doan talk ’bout the two foot at all. Everyone o’ dem young fellas does look as if dem does ride horses fuh a living, like jockeys.
The young boys does have tuh walk wid duh two li’l spindling legs open wide like duh bow, bow, in order tuh keep up the pants and then you could imagine dat dem does have the nerve tuh stitch in the pants legs, saying dem wearing skinny jeans, looking like the people who does do the equisetum horse jumping sport.
But tuh top it off, though, is when ya notice dat all o’ dem, everybody, does carry duh cellphones in duh hands.
Not in the li’l handbag pocket, not in the pants pockets, skirt or shirt pockets – it got tuh be in duh hands all the time.
And, look, it does amuse me when you see dem young people sitting down together and instead o’ carrying on a conversation, evah man does have the phone in hand and duh fingers does be flying. Dem doan seem tuh be able tuh talk tuh one another face tuh face.
Sometimes I wonder if dem does be talking tuh the same people in the room by texting dem. Doan take it from me; check it out fuh ya’self if you doan believe me.
Look at the bus stop, in the doctor’s office, in a fast food line, walking the road; wherevah you see young people standing up, watch and see if dem ain’t got duh cellphone in dem hands fidgeting wid it, alone or in company.
Look, I know what I talking ’bout. Even my children who in duh thirties does have tuh have a cellphone in duh hands fidgeting wid the buttons all the time even when ya trying tuh carry on a conversation wid dem.
I tell you, it is too amusing.
Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.