DEAR CHRISTINE: Ladies, stay strong against married men
I keep reading with interest the many articles in the newspaper about infidelity among men and women. Believe me these are only the tip of the iceberg. There are many more. I’ll like to state something if you will permit me to do so.
I am a matured woman, and Christine I have had scores of approaches by married men over the years. Some have promised me cars, houses, land, free trips, cash, jewellery – you name it – if only I would allow them to be intimate with me.
Christine, as recent as last week, one told me I would regret going to bed with him because I told him he was married and it would be wrong for me to be intimate with him. Do not get me wrong. I was not always the way I am now. I have had relationships with some married men over the years, but refused to accept their gifts and offerings. If I love a person that’s it! I do not need to be wooed by gifts, so I never ever took their offerings to heart.
I want to say though, that now I am older and wiser, I realise it is wrong to have someone else’s husband or wife. When I look back over my life I regret the times I allowed myself to get involved with these men. I have tried to justify my actions by telling myself I always sent them home to their wives, and never encouraged them to leave their wives for me.
I always respected their wives, and because the relationships were usually short, no one ever found out. Now I attend church and have turned my life over to God, I have had to repent seriously. Owning a wife or a husband is like owning a piece of land. It belongs to you and you would never want someone else to come and build on your property.
Marriage is a serious step, and should not be taken lightly. From my perspective, many men walk down the aisle, with no intention of being faithful in that marriage. If there is no commitment in the heart, why go through the pretence, only to wreck someone else’s life down the road.
Marriage begins in the heart, long before the marriage ceremony is completed. You must know before you even ask that individual to marry you that you are committed totally to him or her. It is binding, and the more people get to understand the spirituality of marriage before God, the better this world would be.
Marriage is a covenant between you, the other person and God, and should not be entered into lightly. Too many men are straying from their marriages. If I was a home wrecker, I could have caused a lot of confusion in some marriages over the years.
I have told you, I have repented because I recognised my foolish, stupid and silly wrong doings. I know God has forgiven me, and I can never go down that road again.
Men, don’t play games with the hearts of these women, and ladies, be strong when they come sniffing you out. Tell them firmly they are married and you cannot condone their advances. Tell them you won’t like to be in their wives’ shoes and your body does not belong to them. Send them packing. At the end of the day they will respect you for this. When you give in, they hardly respect you in the end.
Ladies, the ball is often in your court. Do whatever it takes to keep these married men at bay. Leave them alone. It is natural to be tempted, but you do not have to give in to the temptation. Resist their advances, so you can wake up the next day, a stronger and better individual.
You have left little for me to add to your letter. You have been honest and sincere about your own imperfections and wrong doings, so I know you are speaking from your heart.
I trust your letter will help many out there who face the same temptations, or know they need to get out of such relationships.