DEAR CHRISTINE: Sorry, shame for in-laws
I have been married to a man for more than 25 years. From the time we met and decided to get married, I started to give him £50 per week to go towards our old-age savings.
Everything seemed to be going well. We got married and his sister seemed to be very pleasant at our wedding.
Sometime later when we came home for a holiday, things appeared to change. I did not think much of it but as time went by, I found out little things she would say every now and then would make me uncomfortable. Even her daughter started to get on funny.
I told my husband but he did not care. He also did not want to upset her.
His family would tell him what to do and say, and he would just do it.
One day I overheard a conversation between him and other relatives. The sister told him to make a will, and to leave what he has, including the house, to a particular outside child.
They even took him to an attorney-at-law.
My husband took ill about four years ago.
He spent a fortune at the doctor but he is still not better.
Then I overheard his sister when she told him to go and pay for his funeral. They actually took him up and carried him to do so. He had already written the cheque.
As time passed they got really nasty towards me and told my husband not to discuss any of his business with me. I did not make any comment about what they said.
At one point my husband told me they were just jealous. Christine, they even took him to sign over his money – and God knows what else – to his sister’s daughter.
My husband cannot even remember his own name at times. I have to do everything for him – bathe him, cut his hair, nails, shave him, and when he cannot walk, I am his legs and hands.
I don’t understand how spiteful people can be.
I feel sorry and shame for them, but I will leave it all to my Heavenly Father who strengthens me in Jesus’ name.
When I receive letters of this kind, it is hard to tell who the letter writer really is; many times people seek to set other people up by purporting to be who they are not.
Their intention is to cause confusion.
However, I would say that this situation is not new. Family members often squabble over who will get what when an elderly relative dies, not realizing that they could die before that elderly relative passes.
I think you are wise and I like your attitude. Do not make any fuss or quarrel. Material things only last for a while anyway.
I think, though, that if your husband has decided to give his lot to his relatives and leave you out of the picture, you should cease pooling your money with his. Keep separate bank accounts and continue to prepare for your latter years.
Your husband is wrong to do what he did, but the Good Book says revenge belongs to God. In any case, what goes around, comes around.
You’re doing the right thing, let go and Let God. As long as you put your trust in Him, He will either take you out of the situation, bring you through it, or turn things around. He’s still in control.