I AM FRUSTRATED with relationships.
I’m tired of caring and giving of myself, only to be misunderstood and abused.
I’m fed up with loving and sharing, and not being treated with respect by my partner.
Most of all, though, I am sick of men who see sex as the be-all and end-all of relationships.
Why are men so fickle? When will they understand that women want more than sex?
I know this column is not for asking questions, but I have to query this because it is so sickening.
Another thing that is a real turn-off is their desire to try everything they see in blue movies as if you are some actress playing a role.
They can’t seem to get it in their thick skulls that a woman may only do such weird things now and then, but the average woman does not really enjoy acting like some mindless, depraved animal each time she has sex.
This is what I have been through time and again to please my partners, but now I am sick of it.
What really motivated me to speak out though was how my last boyfriend used me in this way, and then left me for someone, just because she would allow him to do things to her that I found to be nasty.
I felt then, as I do now, that there are just some things a woman should not allow men to do to her, and when a man keeps insisting on doing these things, then he really does not care about you – he is only interested in himself.
My last boyfriend was like that. He seemed like a really nice person at first and said the right things to make me feel comfortable with him.
But as soon as we started having sex, his true character came out.
He was obsessed with sex and blue movies.
His idea of spending an evening together was for us to have sex.
His idea of fun was to have sex.
Whatever we did together, it always ended in us having sex.
We couldn’t even go to the drive-in, for example unless he tried to have sex. And when my period was on, he expected me to use my mouth on him. That’s how bad he was.
This behaviour became so sickening after a while that I felt all I was to him was a sex toy to use whatever way he wanted – and I hated it.
What angered me even more was that when I decided to stand up for myself and told him he had to start treating me as more than just a sex toy, he stopped coming around by me as often as he used to. And in less than two months after that, he ended the relationship.
He is now going around with a girl who has a reputation for being fast, but he seems to like that. I keep asking myself how could I have been so stupid not to have realized that sex was all he was about.
But I didn’t see it because I was in love with him.
The point I want to get over is that women need to stop giving in to men and allowing them to abuse their bodies like I did. When a man truly cares about you, he does not inflict pain on your body or ask you to do things you would prefer not to do.
I went through years of that, and when I look back on what I did in the name of love, I honestly feel ashamed.
I want women out there to understand what I’m saying and stop degrading themselves for love – because the man who is encouraging you in that can’t really be in love with you.
