DEAR CHRISTINE: How can I change his hate to love?
I am 20 years old and have been in a relationship for over two years. I have a son with this guy. Don’t get me wrong. I love this man with all my heart.
My problem first started with my family. They do not believe that this man is right for me because of his living arrangements.
I admit to having hurt him in the past because of them, but I am the one to blame. After all, I have a mind of my own.
Now that my son is here, the situation has worsened. They think that his side of the family should have nothing to do with my son. That is far from fair.
As a result of what I did to him in the past, he now treats me terribly. I hate how he looks at me and curses me; how he disrespects me everywhere we go.
Nevertheless, I keep asking myself if he is the one. If he is, he should forgive me and try to find somewhere for us to live.
Honestly, I am torn between him and my family. I would give anything for him to love me the way he once did.
Can you please help me?
First, I would like to beg you to stop being so hard on yourself. There is no one on planet earth who has never made a mistake or done something wrong.
It would seem to me, however, that your friend has a hard time forgiving you. The truth is, if you have spoken to him, asked for his forgiveness and it has not been forthcoming, just leave the situation alone.
The mere fact that he curses and disrespects you tells me he is no longer keen on being in a relationship with you like before.
Is this the kind of life you wish to have with this guy? If I were you, I wouldn’t put my hopes into having a home with him and settling down. I think you should concentrate on your son; avoid pushing this guy into making any long-term commitments with you, and wait it out.
Maybe he’ll come around if you give him time and space.
Regarding this ongoing family feud, I believe you should remain neutral (not take sides), while making decisions that would be in the best interest of your young son.