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DEAR CHRISTINE: Is child’s mother trying to keep us apart?

BEA DOTTIN, [email protected]

DEAR CHRISTINE: Is child’s mother trying to keep us apart?

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Dear Christine,
It’s been a long time that I’ve wanted to write to you. Now is the time, since I cannot hold back any longer with my problem.
I am in love with a man whom I met last year.
He seemed so nice then, and he would call each time he passed a telephone at work.
If I am going anywhere he would either want to take me or to pick me up afterwards. He has also taken me to his parents’ home.
If he calls and the telephone is busy he wants to know who I was talking with.
He pays my bills also, but recently I found out that he is still going around with his child’s mother.
I also heard he sleeps there. When I asked him “Where were you?” he would say, “I went by the fellows and then went home and slept.”
I asked him if he was still in love with his child’s mother and he told me the only reason he goes to her house is to see his son.
One day he was at home at his mum and the little boy was there. I heard the little boy’s voice saying, “Daddy.” I asked him who it was and he said “My son.”
I paused for a while, and then he asked me if I was vexed. I replied “Why should I be vexed?” I then told him he should treat the little boy nicely.
Another day, the phone rang and when I answered, a woman’s voice asked to speak to me. She then asked if I knew this guy, and after I said I did, she started telling me how he does not want me.
When I asked who it was, she told me she was his child’s mother. She said she also heard that he had a woman in another parish and when she questioned him about it, he said he did not know what she was talking about.
Finally, she told me they were planning to travel abroad next year to be married and that when she asked his mother about me, the mother said she does not see him with anybody.
This is a lie because his mother told me how often they (including his mother) keep saying what a nice person I am, and that if he didn’t want me, he should not go around me to mash up my life.
What I want to know is how come he is telling her that he doesn’t even know me? Whenever he and his friends at work have parties, he always takes me.
Christine, I’d do anything for this man and he has told me that he would never do anything to hurt me.
I have never found him with any lewd company or with anyone else. Whenever I see him he is alone.
Do you think he loves me? I really love him a lot.
– R
Dear R,
I really cannot honestly tell you if this man loves you.
I believe that he cares for you deeply, but only you will be able to tell if it is love that exists between you two.  
You can never swear for a person, so as to whether or not he is being honest with you, that’s also hard to tell.
I hope you are not in any way annoyed with him for the attention he pays to his son, since you entered into this relationship with the knowledge that a child exists.
As long as a child exists, there must be a mother somewhere.
Speaking about mother, I am of the opinion that this woman may be trying to make it difficult for you and this man to have a relationship.
But then again, she might also be telling the truth – based on what the child’s father is telling her.
My suggestion to you would be to face him. Let him know what you have been told by the child’s mother and watch his reaction.
If he tells you there is something going on with him and her, please don’t stick around for an explanation.
Just leave him and that complicated relationship behind. I’m sure there is someone just for you somewhere out there.