Streaker the man of de match at Kensington
It was at the Mecca, Kensington Oval, de Sobers Statue proudly standing in de forecourt, a cold breeze blowing, de mouth-watering scents of Caribbean cooking permeating de air, cars parked in every direction, de Mecca ram jam, and Rupee singing live wid dancing girls from de Hott party stand that Baje come to see Trini get beat.
But de Mecca was more like Queen’s Park Oval, a sea of red and black, roti and dougla, white boy and black man and plenty, plenty nice Trini women, ready to celebrate even before de match start.
I swear dat Chaguanas was empty! A Trini accountant and he doctor brother bring a massive cooler full wid doubles and de condiments to back it, pepper like fire and feeding de whole of de Three Ws Stand. If dem ever lose they wuk, they could mek a fortune selling doubles.
Either way, it was going to be a night to remember but de night had some bizarre twists. I will never understand why Bubbadus would win de toss and decide to bat first.
Send dem in to bat, know wha total yuh got to chase, but who is Market Vendor to give advice to dem that know better.
Once Kirk Edwards and Dwayne Smith was back in de Sobers Pavilion, de writing was pun de wall. De batsmen, iffin ah could be dat generous, groping and missing de ball and like diarrhoea dem did running in and out of de pavilion! De scores did more like lotto numbers, 0, 1, 5, 7, 11, 21!
Ninety painful runs later and de Trinis did ready to mash we up. Fidel Edwards and Tino Best pepper de batsmen wid some fast and hostile bowling, and fuh a while it did look like 91 runs would be a tall order but it was not to be.
De sounds of Rupee’s I Am A Bajan started to fade and de big man Keiron Pollard sealed de Bajans fate.
My advice to Bubbadus: too many blond players in de team and dey play blond too. Spend less time in de hair salon and more pun de cricket field and stay out of places in de Gap de night before a big match.
De night had two game changers. When Sulieman Benn drop Pollard it was all over; yuh cannot let Pollard bat twice and dat is exactly what yuh do when yuh drop he.
But fuh me, and de thousands at de Mecca, de real game changer and man of de match was a player named Streaker wanting to help Trinidad tighten de screw. Streaker came in, lasted two balls before being bowled between de legs and was evicted from de game.
De bat he was carrying was a weapon of laugh destruction; he shoulda field at extra cover. My mudder always tell me, “Market, never expose yuh shortcomings in public.”
Dis batsman was short of a length and ended up with what de commentators would call a soft dismissal. De fans did routing fuh he though and I could not help but notice dat some very nice Catholic, Hindu and Muslim girls sitting by de Vendor failed to cover duh eyes and instead had out de cameras clicking away.
He was definitely de man of de match; well, man may be stretching things a bit and fuh dat he must get de ESPN play of de day. ESPN did covering de match live, he shoulda cover up too.
I sure he spend de night in a cell and wake up feeling dotish while he friends did partying and laughing at he. Alcohol does mek mankind do some strange things.
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?