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THE LOWDOWN: Action by Froon at last!


Richard Hoad

THE LOWDOWN: Action by Froon at last!

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Some talk of Alexandra, and some of credit squeeze, of coups and unsigned letters, and such great things as these.
But when it comes to action and terminus ad quem, the mighty Froon is our greatest boon – he can outsolve all of them.
It is no secret what Froon can do, what he’s done for others, he’ll do for you; he don’t work miracles, he don’t work fast, but given enough time, he’ll solve impasse.
Okay, Mr PM, you did it. And in style.
Jones and the Sno Cones melted before the fiery red woman. And then, (sing it):
Only you could make the world seem right,
Only you could make the darkness bright,
Only you could blaze a trail with barbecued pigtail,
Success where others missed,
We won’t even mention Chris . . . .
But, sir, one swallow does not a stomach make full or whatever the saying is. We got to talk and pick lessons from all this. First, leadership.
We give leaders a lot of power. Worse yet, we put in a chain of complaint which must pass through the same leader who may be at fault.
Result? The whole ship may sink, as happened recently off Italy, because no subordinate is expected to complain except through the leader.
Some officer on board that ship must have realized the captain was doing foolishness.
But the captain was drinking and dining with a young Moldovan woman. Could an officer risk telling him: “Ahm, Skip, this is a bad time for a Moldovan cocktail!”
No. Nor would it be proper procedure for him to report his boss to the ship’s owners.
Similarly, our top schools have functioned and achieved top results since time immemorial with good, bad and clowns for teachers. But some of those same schools have gone rapidly downhill under ineffectual headmasters and never recovered until they left.
We must therefore make it much easier for concerned teachers to get such heads out of the system before major damage occurs.
Nor should the Association of Heads object.
Next thing, let’s can the crocodile tears about the children missing school. My best days at school were when they closed them all in midterm because of the Asian flu.
Trust me, you can catch up and become proficient in any subject in short order if you put your mind to it.
But many are not, Froon. A few days ago a teacher was telling me: “The girls do a little, the boys do nothing at all. I could safely put a hundred dollar bill in their textbooks and be sure of finding it a week later”.
Bite the bullet, Mr PM. Co-education doesn’t work. A boy can’t concentrate when those hormones are ringing out the message: “Be fruitful and multiply.” And right before his eyes are cherries waiting to be plucked. Besides, girls don’t go for nerds.
Talking about being fruitful and multiplying, if that is what was happening in the background to the recent Weather News, it’s great to know there’s action at CBC as well.
Let’s face it. The Weather News doesn’t usually grab anyone. I have a friend who goes ballistic every time that girl says: “The sun is expected to rise . . . .” Obviously she’s heard the sun is a ball of gas and doesn’t want to be wrong if it burns up overnight. Who else cares?
But everyone went wild at the thought of a forecast like: “Breezy with intermittent sighs of ecstasy.”
And there was action at The Oval. Incensed at his compatriots’ dismal display of Bajan willow, young Michael Marshall shed his colonial trappings and did us proud. Although, judging from the many marrying Bajan men, the Trini women already know the score.
One email from New York read: “Who is this noble streaker? Will he get a knighthood? His hinder parts on a stamp? All of the above??? I hope so!”
While a lusty lass is demanding her money back because she went on Sunday and young Marshall didn’t streak. Her only consolation was seeing his dangling participles on Facebook.
And after all that, we arrest him? Cuddear, Mr Judge, give the boy a break.               

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