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BLABBERMOUT’ BABSIE: When ‘senior moments’ start appearin’!

BEA DOTTIN, [email protected]

BLABBERMOUT’ BABSIE: When ‘senior moments’ start appearin’!

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Dear Nesta,
Some people say “age is jes’ a number”. Ethuhs tell yuh it is “only a attitude”. So when we see dem li’l “laff-lines” beginnin’ to tek up residence in we faces, it don’ mean dat wrinkles gettin’ ready to tek over, oh no!
An’ all de aches an’ pains dat greet yuh evuh mornin’ yuh roll outta bed – sometimes longin’ to jump back in, fuh a las’ five minutes  – don’ mean one t’ing! Yuh min’ jes’ playin’ tricks, neffin else!  Yuh still got some ways to go befo’ yuh should worry!
Now, all dat is one t’ing but, as Philomena an’ muhself was discussin’ recently, some ethuh li’l worryin’ signs creep in, an’ mek yuh sit up an’ tek notice dat somet’ing really goin’ on, an’ yuh better try an’ control it, or  it might lead to much mo’ serious problems! So yuh begin to put some effort into shoppin’ fuh “supplements” wid names like “Ginko” an’ “Ginseng” an ’ wuhevuh else well meanin’ frien’s sugges’! Even some o’ de “lazybones” dat en had no use fuh exercise all de years, begin to feel it might not be so bad to get li’l “fresh air” some afternoons, an’ put de Garrison ’pon duh agenda fuh weekly strolls! Anyt’ing to put a stop to dis “foolishness” dat might be comin’ on, worf de effort”!  
So you could imagine how I nearly dead wid laff, when las’ week Philomena appear at my door, grinnin’ from ear to ear, all deck out in a new-bran’ outfit – tracksuit, head ban’, trainers, even de Walkman – wid news dat she gine off to get some exercise! Wuh, I could only wish she “good luck” an’ turn ‘way!    
I  talkin’ ‘bout “senior moments” dat seem to hit mos’ people – bofe male an’ female – over 50, nowadays, even sooner! Dese li’l periods – happenin’ mo’ an’ mo’ of’en as de days go by – when a complete lapse o’ mem’ry tek over an’ yuh jes’ cyahn remember, regardless to how hard yuh try, dat impo’tant word jes’ ’pon de tip o’ yuh tongue but simply en comin’ out, mekkin’ yuh feel so embarrass, dat yuh en’ up by sayin’ “Yuh know wuh I mean?” Famous las’ words! After all, yuh got to say somet’ing, ’specially when de person yuh talkin’ wid start to t’row some strange looks at yuh, wonderin’ wuh de France goin’ on!   
Now, de youff sometimes display dese “senior moments” as well, but de cause fuh dem come onder a completely diff’rent headin’! In mos’ cases, dem brain cells wukkin’ in tip-top shape, but duh jes’ cyahn be “bothered” to mek de effort, so de phrase “wuhevuh”, wid a shrug o’ de shoulders is de answer to shut down anyt’ing duh en want to deal wid! Dem far from de age fuh “senior moments”, aldoh sometimes I wonder ’bout it, when I at home waitin’ fuh a drop to town, an’ see de nephew I got – ’e en see a star pitch yet – drive pas’ de house in one speed, widout stoppin’! Sometimes, he remember jes’ in time, sometimes not, ’til de nex’ day!  
Las’ week, befo’ settin’ off to de supermarket, I decide I en need no lis’, cause it en difficult to remember – apart from de big items – li’l t’ings like toofpase, soap, milk an’ tea!  Dead easy, right? Wrong! Aldoh I even had a rhyme goin’ on in muh head, recitin’ de words all de way to de shop, soon as I went inside, dem four items went clean out muh head an’ I en’ up back home, wid evuht’ing, excep’ dem four items!   
But don’ worry ’bout it, startin’ nex’ week, Philomena got a partner fuh de Garrison!
Tek care o’ yuhself,
Yuh frien’, Babsie.