DEAR CHRISTINE: Fair-weather wife hurting me
I am a man with a lot of hurt in my heart at the moment. Prior to this, I had a lot of love in my heart for a woman whom I met four years ago, and eventually married.
When we met I was flying high. I had a car, a good paying job and was paying mortgage on my home. All that changed last year, when some circumstances caused me to sell my car. I also changed jobs and could no longer afford some of the better things of life. Christine, my wife who does not have a car and who does not work – started to complain about having to take public transport. I told her what we were going through was only for a time and a season and that things would get better again.
Despite telling her this, would you believe that she called her relatives who live abroad and told them that she could no longer live with me here in Barbados and she was going to return to her native country – for a while? Christine, this hurt me.
I asked myself if my wife was with me only because of what I had to offer her.
She did leave the island and told me she was going abroad for three months. She said she hoped things would be better by then. Four months have gone by and my wife is still abroad.
Three weeks ago I got a job offer – an even better one than my first job. I am now about to re-purchase a vehicle and begin to live life a lot better.
Christine, the things is this . . . I still love my wife, but I am very hurt by her actions. Do you think I should tell her about my new job, or let her remain where she is back in her native country?
I need to know what you think is the best thing to do.
It seems clear to me that your wife is not prepared to stick with you through thick and thin – and that’s sad. I believe she has been inconsiderate, selfish and unloving.
I could easily tell you to leave her where she is and that you should thank your lucky stars you discovered just how little she loves you, but I am not going to tell you that – even if you expect me to. What I will say, is that I am in no position to advice you on the next move to make. That’s still your wife – and when you two got married, it was for better or for worst.
You will have to decide in your heart if you still truly love her and are willing to forgive her. What she has done must have caused a really bad disconnect between you two. Still, at the end of the day,the ball lies in your court. In other words, the ace card is in your hand, how you play it is left entirely up to you. You make the choice, and let your heart guide you.