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Women only out to take

as told to Sanka Price

Women only out to take

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AFTER SEVERAL EXPERIENCES with women over the last 30 years – both good and bad – I have come to the conclusion that most women are selfish, self-centred creatures, who often get involved with men based on what they are hoping to get out of them.
Of course, most women would say that I am talking foolishness and that they get involved for love. But if you look at what a lot of them do in relationships, you would realize that is far from the truth.
For example, the average experienced woman would tell you she is looking for a good man. She defines such a man as one who treats her like a queen in that he gives of his time, money and self without question.
Eventually, too, she expects his friends and interests would take a back seat, or at least not play as prominent a role in his life as compared with her and her concerns.
When a man has children or elderly relatives to look after as well, most women have difficulty with that because they feel he should be dealing with them and their brood only. Here, it must be said that when a man gets involved with a woman who has children, she expects him to take care of not only his children, but hers too.
The truth
Again, I can hear women stupsing hard, but I am sure that most men reading this would agree with what I am saying. I know of more than one case where this happened.
The truth is that every day men bend over backwards for women. They put themselves in debt and other situations only to be left high and dry.
The next thing is that women are notorious liars. They always say only what they have to, so they can get sympathy. Because of this, the other side of a lot of sad stories is never heard. That is why men usually get blamed for everything. But if the truth was known, believe me, many would think differently.
For instance, you can’t expect to get involved with a married man, then when he doesn’t leave his wife, call him the worst thing in the world. Common sense should tell any woman that most men are willing to play on the side as long as it wouldn’t threaten their domestic arrangement.
Next are those women who go with a man who flashes a lot of money. Again, common sense should tell her that that is to encourage her and, if she wants it, she has to do something to get it.
Also, if a fellow looks good and a lot of women are attracted to him, it is obvious that if you get involved with a man like that he is going to have somebody else on the side. Again, common sense should tell women that.
Yet women who fall for men like that expect when they come on the scene, they can change him just so, and if he doesn’t change to suit them, he is the worst person in the world.
They then tell people how badly the man treated them and how inconsiderate he was. But it was their fault that they were treated in whatever way, because they got involved with the man knowing the sort of person he was. That is the selfish, self-centred attitude that I am talking about.
In addition, lots of men suffer at the hands of women because they get fooled into raising other men’s children, and this is where I suffered too.
Just over 20 years ago, I married a church girl because I wanted somebody who would not be wild. When I started talking to her, she was very friendly with another guy in the church who was going overseas to study.  
She always told me that they were just friends and I took her at her word. Within two weeks of my starting to talk to her, we had sex, but she wasn’t a virgin.
She became pregnant and I did the right thing and married her.  The only thing the child – a boy – had in common with me was dark skin. He had a fine nose and his fingers and toes were long, so from early you could see he was going to be tall. And he grew so too.
Second child
After five more years we had a second child and that boy looked everything like me. His big toes were large like mine and his toes and fingers were short and stubby.
Anyway, just before the boy turned 15, the guy who went away to study returned here with his family for the first time. He had two sons too. The thing that shocked me – and everybody else for that matter – was that my first boy looked exactly like his two boys. It was obvious then why that child didn’t look like me, and why she hooked onto me so fast back then.
But the most hurtful part of this whole thing was my wife’s response when I asked her how she could have fooled me all those years. She just looked at me and said she did not want to embarrass herself and her family. Then, with a flood of tears pouring down, she asked me to forgive her.
After all those years of deception, she expected me just to sweep it under the carpet and for us to move on. But then, that’s how women are. When you do something, it is horrific; when they do it, they expect forgiveness.