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DEAR CHRISTINE: Need strength to let him go


marciadottin, [email protected]

DEAR CHRISTINE: Need strength  to let him go

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DEAR CHRISTINE,
I am writing this letter with a heavy heart and lots of tears.
Six-plus years ago I met my present boyfriend.
We got along great and did lots of things together. Things were so great between us we could not wait to see each other after work.
Then it happened!
He started to cheat.
He was 29 years old when we met and still lived with his family. I was 25 and lived at home.
Eventually, I moved in with him.  That’s when the drama started. I would be watching television in his bedroom and he would be on the computer. It was after I started having doubts that I went on the computer one day and saw that he was talking to women about what he would like to do to them.
He also told them he had no girlfriend. Some women were from different parts of the world and he had invited them to visit him, or asked them to send him a ticket so he could visit them.
I was hurt, but I did not confront him right away. The following day I decided to go home for a while. A few days later he said he wanted to talk. The night we were due to meet I went to his home earlier than planned and found a woman coming out of his bedroom fixing herself. He was wearing a towel.
 Things got really heated and we broke up.
His family was at home all this time. I later found out the woman was his sister’s friend.
I forgave him and shortly after, we decided to get our own place. Things were great for the first year then he began seeing other women. He would hit me and do some of the worst things you could imagine – like spit in my face, curse me and call me nasty names. After the fights he would say “sorry” and I would forgive him.
By the third year of living together things got even worst. I had women calling, messaging me on Facebook and telling me all kinds of nasty things. When I confronted him he cursed me in the nastiest way possible.
Now, he never calls during the day or takes me out.
The thing is I love this man. I have done so much for him already since I am a well-educated woman with a job which “pays top dollars.”
I pay all the bills in the house, including the rent; buy the groceries and also pay for anything else that needs to be done. I make sure he is comfortable. He drives a very fancy vehicle which was a gift, yet this man treats me like I am a “nobody.” He says he loves me but his actions say different.
 I am a beautiful woman and many men would love to be with me. However, I was not brought up to be a “run around kind of person.”
I believe that people can change but I think that I have been waiting too long now for a change.
I need your help, please. I need the strength to let go of this fraction of a man. Six years is a long time but this is killing me slowly.
– J.H
 
Dear J.H,
It is my prayer that you’ll find the strength to let go, but you can only achieve this by JUST DOING IT.
You’ve obviously made a lot of wrong choices – like taking him back time and again, and making the decision to live a life of abuse. Don’t wait for him to change and don’t expect love from him. By the way, he’s also not your “present boyfriend.” Why are you selling yourself short? He’s simply a parasite, an abuser and a womanizer who’s living off of you. He does not deserve your kind of love.  
Open your eyes!
Also, this farce of living together – possibly with the hope of getting married – is nothing more than a pipe-dream.
Quit spending your hard-earned money on this scum bag. Have nothing to do with him or his deceptive family. If you cannot find the guts to ask him to leave, you do the leaving. After all, you’re the one who’s paying the rent. This time when you leave, don’t look back. Enough said!
– CHRISTINE

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