DEAR CHRISTINE: Brother only into young girls
My 35-year-old brother has always been attracted only to very young girls. He is currently seeing a 16-year-old and before this was engaged to a 17-year-old.
I have tried to introduce him to women a bit closer to his age – late twenties – but he always walks away from any such relations, or even friendships.
I don’t understand what makes men tick, I guess, but this seems a bit strange to me.
My brother is good-looking, and many of my older women friends find him attractive.
What do you think his behaviour indicates? I am worried because he has never married, and if he does not, I have a feeling that when he reaches the age of 60 he will still be single and chasing teenagers.
First and foremost I’d like to advise you to stop playing the matchmaker. All you have done so far has been in vain, and I certainly do not believe that you should “throw” your girlfriends at your brother.
I have also noticed that the same way he has walked away from your friends, he has walked away from some of those teenaged girls, so I take it your brother is just not keen on settling down.
Either he prefers people whom he can control, since very young girls are strong ego builders for your brother, or he may well be sexually insecure and believe that older women will be more demanding. He may even feel threatened by women who are more independent, educated and intellectually more mature. These girls are actually old enough to be his daughters. To a 15- or 16-year-old girl, your brother may appear to be a more powerful, successful person. He is bound to have many possessions that a young boy their own age would not be apt to have. He perhaps also has a certain authority and experience that secondary schoolboys lack.
I may get myself in some trouble here, but while I am no psychologist, I believe your brother is “emotionally arrested” and has failed to develop self-confidence. In short, he needs help – not yours directly – but professional help.