DEAR CHRISTINE: Can’t take wife’s tit for tat

Dear Christine,
I am a man who never thought that I would be writing to you.
My wife and I have been married for ten years and for five of those years, I have been friendly with a woman. My wife found out but never told me anything about her findings.
What she has decided to do is play “tit for tat”. She has been seeing a man for quite some time now. He is younger than she is.
Christine, while I am having an affair, there is no doubt that I love my wife. However, I have to admit that I am not keen on giving up my lady friend, but I do not want to lose my wife to another. I am still jealous of her.
She is now in the habit of leaving the children with relatives while she and her friend go out.
She says she never asked me about my lady friend and she does not expect me to get annoyed with her for the decision she has made.
In fact, she says as long as I am seeing another woman, she will continue to see the person she is seeing.
Christine, I am very hurt and disgusted about this attitude. I have even been to places where I see them together. On one occasion, the four of us met in the same place. I was very hurt.
Christine, my wife has a good job. In fact, she is the main breadwinner in the house. How can I get her to realize that there is no need to play the game she is playing just because I have been unfaithful?
– A.P.
Dear A.P.,
It is sad that your home situation has reached this stage where your wife is giving you “tit for tat”. But can you blame her?
You are the one who started being unfaithful in the first place. Now that she has given you a dose of your own medicine, you are finding it hard to swallow.
The way I see it, your wife is using this man to get back at you, and that’s not fair either.
Having said that, it is clear to me that the ball is in your court! She has told you that if you give up your friend, she’ll give up her friendship with this man.
I believe that if you are keen on saving your marriage, you will have to make the first move and get rid of your spare tyre. I believe she’ll then get rid of hers. Marriage is not about driving around with spares.
– CHRISTINE