Dear Christine,
I am a 25-year-old male who reads THE NATION newspaper every day never leaves out the Dear Christine column.
I am sometimes amazed at some of the people who write letters to this column and some of the situations they face. What catches my attention more so each time, are those letters where either a man or a woman is involved with someone who is married.
Each time I read one of those letters I feel like bawling out for help for the individual who is asking you for advice on how to move forward with the person who is married.
I mean, can these people be so dumb – mostly they are women – who want advice on how to move forward with someone’s husband? The men are not left out either.
They are wrong and worthless even for encouraging these women to latch on to them, in some instances promising them the sun, moon and stars, and knowing full well that all they are after is sex and maybe some place to hang out when they are bored at home.
But mind you, they will return to the nests that are their homes – even if the conditions are not favourable. After all, who wants added responsibilities – financial and other?
I am saying all this to say that women who hook up with married men and men who leave their wives at home to have a good time with these women know in the back of their minds that these relationships are always (99.9 per cent of the times) – dead end relationships.
There is no real love – just lust, and these men (in most cases) will meet with their male friends and brag about the sex episodes and rendezvous.
They will speak about all the immoral sex acts they get these women to perform and about the times they purchase these women with money.
They will talk “bad” about them. Ask me how I know?
I’ve heard the talk time and time again. I’ve seen the smiles that come from their faces when they talk about their “exploits and so called “achievements.”
I am not married, but I cannot imagine treating a wife the way these men treat theirs. The thing is that most of time their wives are nice women who are faithful to them – helping to take care of the home, their husbands and caring for the children.
Ladies, yes I am a man, but please take my advice, when the married men come knocking, send them on their way. To you men who are married, when the ladies come a-calling, stand firm and let them know you are married. You’ll be surprised at how much they would respect you for your honesty and the stand you take.
– MARK B
Dear Mark B,
Your letter makes a lot of sense and carries with it a lot of healthy advice. The question is, will the women ever learn and will the men ever have the guts to say no? I hope they heed your words of wisdom.
If women take pride in themselves, they will. Both you and I know that in many cases the men will move on from one woman to the next – but never leave the wife.
And yes, men need to stand up for their wives and their families. They need to respect their partners and bear in mind that with all the sexually transmitted diseases out there, there is the chance of taking home one to their wives.
You have addressed both men and women and that’s good because if we are to go by recently released information, women cheat just as much as men do, but they are hardly even found out. I guess because they are not usually seen as “the cheaters”. In the end a person who cheats is only fooling himself or herself. At the end of the day he or she has to live with their own self-deceit. There is no pleasure in that. Even if there is, it’s short-lived and is often followed by days, months and years of regret. Again, thanks for your advice.
– CHRISTINE
