DEAR CHRISTINE: Feeling betrayed over outside son
My husband and I have been married for ten years and have two children. I thought everything was fine between us until my husband told me two months ago that he has an “outside son” who is two years old.
Christine, I am devastated. We are both in our late 30s and my husband is currently going through some medical tests. He wanted to tell me about the child now, in case something happens to him while he undergoes these tests.
For the past two months I have been living a nightmare. Nothing prepared me for this news. There were no signs of infidelity, but then again, maybe I have been naïve.
My husband works day and late evenings – that’s it. Apart from that he is always at home. That has been his schedule for the past five years.
When I asked him where he met the young lady and where they met for their rendezvous he told me it was a short-term relationship with an old flame. He said he never wanted to hurt me and both he and the woman decided not to disclose it. I want to be the dutiful wife because we enjoy a good life together, but I feel betrayed.
How can I get past my hurt? Do I still work towards being that dutiful wife? My husband has cried on my shoulders telling me over and over again he’s sorry, but the knowledge of that baby can change many things. I need your advice.
Yes, you have every right to be angry and feel betrayed, but if you love your husband, forgive him.
It won’t be easy at all, but he is already living with his guilt and regret. He should have been honest with you up front.
However, if you believe in your husband and the love you share, don’t allow that short-term relationship to ruin your life for ever.
Garner the strength to move past the hurt and stay by your husband’s side through his medical challenges. That’s real love and forgiveness.