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Yes! Vacation dun at last

Mavis Beckles

Yes! Vacation dun at last

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Wha loss! Duh back in school again.
The summer vacation is finally over and the children are now back in a structured environment. Duh ain’t ’bout the place doing all kinds o’ foolishness, getting in tuh all kinds o’ mischief and giving duh parents and grandparents blizzics nuh more.
Duh back in school and all o’ dem parents who got teenagers, the boys especially, can now breathe a sigh of relief dat the summer vacation has gone by and nutten major ain’t happen tuh dem like drowning, or some fool running dem down wid a motor car while duh out pon duh bicycles riding ’bout wid duh friends; or duh ain’t get shoot accidentally because o’ some fool who see a bunch o’ fellas liming and, because he got a grouse wid one o’ dem, decide he gine start shooting.
Next thing ya know, a innocent young boy get hurt or killed.
Duh back in school and the electric bill could now come back down a li’l bit because nuhbody ain’t gine tuh the fridge and opening the door a thousand times a day and closing it back all the time because dem bored, drinking water all the time or because duh hungry and even though the fridge might be full, duh still cahn find nutten tuh eat.
Praise God duh back in school and li’l food could now stop in the house – uh mean groceries in the cupboards – ’cause duh hungry evah five and ten minutes and ya gotta cook because duh eating like termites.  
Yes! Duh back in school and parents could go tuh work knowing dat although things could happen at school, their children are in a supervised environment.
Ya’all evah notice how big all o’ dem does grow during the summer vacation? Ya evah realize how tall duh does get? Ya evah really check out duh feet? My Lord!
Well, I gine tell ya. When the school term break for the summer, dem does be wearing one size but by the time the vacation over and duh ready tuh go back into school, most, if not all o’ dem, does have tuh get new shoes, sometimes two whole sizes bigger. That is all the lot o’ running ’bout and eating duh does be doing during dem ten weeks.
So all o’ dem back in school from this week looking real crisp in duh new school clothes dat some parents had tuh save up tuh buy, or plan tuh get a meeting turn around this time so as tuh have a few dollars tuh buy dem wid.  
Lord, duh back in school and the place clean; the place quiet, nuhbody ain’t running in and out
o’ the place evah minute, leffin the door open and bringing all kinds o’ stuff in the house. At last, evahthing back in order and ya could sit down fuh five minutes when duh gone long tuh school if ya ain’t working and blow.
Ya could now hear ya’self think; all the shouting, hollering and complaining done; the place quiet. Although the whole place hot as France, because dem li’l people ain’t around tuh confuse ya head, ya could bear it, ya could tolerate it.
But while one set o’ people happy dat the children gone long back in tuh school, another set like duh doan like it too much. I was talking tuh a fellow who does drive the ZR van.
He say dat he prefer when the children out pon vacation because duh does got a lot o’ movement but when they go back tuh school, from the time you see around 10 o’clock until about 2:30 in the afternoon, evahthing does be dead, shut down.
So after the long vacation fuh both dem and the teachers, it is back tuh the books.
• Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.