DE MARKET VENDOR: Good ole days a lotta ole talk
The debate does rage daily: in de good old days this woulda never happen . . . . Bubbadus was a sweet place and safe – where all dese vagabonds come from? . . . I used to leave my windows open at night . . . . We was a God-fearing people. Today, Market Vendor going ’bout this like Peter Wickham, using scientific measurements, preparing charts and scores. Wunnah could decide whether de ole days was better or worse than today.
Old days, fan coal pot and coals; today yuh got gas range – score fuh today!
Old days nuh burglar bars, sleep wid windows open; today living in prison – old days win!
Old days kerosene oil lamp, nuh electricity, outhouse to do-do; today house light up like NASA, Kohler toilets flushing while you admiring de Banks calendar girl – today hands down!
Old days bringing water from de stand pipe; today three bathrooms and European designed kitchen – no brainer; today win like Bolt!
Old days it was Rocklyn and Elite buses tekking duh time, de breeze blowing through de bus; today yuh heart in yuh hand in de ZR – score one fuh ole days!
Ole days ham, cheese in de larder; today de Sub Zero brimming wid goodies – today win!
Want piece of chicken in de old times? Catch de fowl, kill, clean, lime ’n’ salt, then cook, today a restaurant got yuh sort out: today by a long shot!
Old days a Raleigh or Hercules bicycle to ride to work, sweating from de heat, Lord help yuh if it raining; today Audi or Benz – today by a long margin!
Getting a date in de ole days was like sitting fuh university finals, de whole family involved, she father got a piece of lead pipe in he hand asking ’bout yuh intentions, if you couldn’t tell he yuh intentions, de lead pipe would spilt open yuh head; today you living wid de woman fuh a year and yet to meet a mudder or fadder – today too sweet!
Ole days yuh lucky to see a young lady ankles, de bathing suits did look like a dress; today she bend bend over and yuh see de future – today, today!
Old days a man left home, gone fuh de day, when he say he working late, that is it; today he left de house, de madam on de cell in three minutes, she calling de office all day checking, iffing he wukking late she bbm-ing and can tell when he read de message, can Face Time and see where he, emailing he and calling de friend he say he with to be sure – bring back de old times!
Old days de lucky ones get to go and wuk pun de London transport, travel two weeks pun a boat to get there; today Virgin providing a bed to sleep, movies all night long, food coming through yuh ears, eight hours yuh there – gimme today!
Dem same people had to work, raise some funds, then study and iffing them lucky in five years get to come back home, yuh left home a tiny li’l thing, yuh come back wid a beard and an accent; today, every long weekend, spring break, recess, vacation, every manjack coming home: today it is fuh de Vendor!
Ole days yuh had Rediffusion, nuh TV, nuh multiplex cinema, today it is Sheraton VIP or de luxury Lime Grove cinemas wid servers bringing food and beds to lie on: today, fuh sure!
Look it look like except fuh a few exceptions dis ’talk ’bout de good ole days is just that, a lotta ole talk!
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?