Just not ready to settle down
YOU MAY THINK that my letter is quite unusual, and maybe it is, but I need your advice anyway.
I have been seeing my boyfriend for the past two years and we appear to be doing okay as a couple. However, he keeps mentioning marriage and about having children, but I am not ready for that kind of a commitment. I am 22 years old and would like to see more of the world and do more in life before settling down.
I know that he plans on proposing – perhaps by Christmas or early in the New Year – but I do not want to hurt his feelings when he does. I am simply not ready for this, but how do I let him down gently?
His parents are also hoping that we would tie the knot soon, since they want to have grandchildren before they pass away. My boyfriend is 27, and his parents are in their early fifties.
Please tell me what to do.
There is no real easy way to get around this, so you have to have a talk with your boyfriend and tell him the truth. Look him in the eye and let him know that while you love him, you are not ready to settle down and have children – not even for his parents’ sake – at this point in time.
He will either be very upset or incredibly understanding. If he is upset, cushion his fears by letting him know you do love him, want to marry him and that he is “the one”; it’s just that the time is not right for you.
If, on the other hand, he understands where you are coming from, you know you’ve definitely found a “gem of a man”.