Nobody parties like a Trini at Christmas
Did I tell wunnah how I love Christmas? The lights, postcards, email updates from people, Christmas trees, presents, roundabouts decorated, parties, Carols By Candlelight, Parang music, Christmas Day mass, rum cake, garlic pork, conkies, pastels, sorrel and jug.
Dis year was special, especially de parties. There are parties and den there are Trini parties. Dem people could fete. Bajan staff parties will be either lunch or dinner, with plenty food and drink, friends chatting, music, maybe dancing, very civilized, wishes fuh health happiness and prosperity, leaving as they came and heading back to either de office or home. Dat is how most of the office parties I get invite to does run. People hanging out in groups chatting and wishing fuh elections early next year.
Same ting in Grenada. Like Bubbadus, people gather, food catered, awards might be given out, some nice things said about hard-working people and again exchanging best wishes fuh good health happiness and prosperity and hoping fuh elections early next year.
Trinidad and Tobago? Dem different. Dem parties I call organized disorder, sweet bedlam. Two weeks ago de Vendor attend a Trini staff party and observe Trinis in fete mode, not fuh de first time but I telling yuh: dese people from a different planet! Example, I at dinner wid friends two Friday nights ago, pun Ariapita Ave.
Suddenly, de wrecker attaching to an illegally parked car and a woman nearby jump and bawl: “Oh Gorm, is meh car de wrecker taking!” She look fuh two seconds and calmly exclaim, “Leh dem take it. One of allyuh will have to give me a ride home. Ah go get it tomorrow”, sat back down, eat, smoke and drink till after 1 a.m. and not a worry about her $300 000 car! Why let de wrecker wreck a good night out? Baje would be running behind de wrecker – but not a Trini!
Then de Xmas staff party, food flowing, Trinis mixing, jokes flying, ole talk sweet, presents exchanging wid a story behind every one, music loud, not a Xmas song but de beverages flowing.
Enter Hott93 Xmas party. 2 a.m de Vendor and partner trying to get away and hear de Trinis, “Nah nah, we going Ariapita; we now ready to fete!” Dis Vendor ready to sleep! One CSS morning lady who shall remain nameless wining pun a pole, one dat holding up a table. After ten minutes she still below de table. I swear she went down, stick and can’t get up. A Lucian lass who came fuh de fete had such a good time she sleep right through de alarm, sleep
de whole day Sunday, missing de 6.a.m. LIAT back to St Lucia.
A next one mooning de crowd below in Woodford Cafe; somebody dancing in somebody lap. Heading out de car park in Price Plaza in de early morning hours, people sitting pun de ground, morning man Jase trying to break into a car, his own I presume, while five ladies bawling, “Jase, hurry up. We need to get to de fete!”
Next day six cars had to be recovered from Price Plaza because de drivers did not feel competent to drive home. One lady hitching a ride wid de Vendor bawl out “pull over” and before I could say New York she hanging out de side, two minutes later announcing, “Yuh gal good again!”
Another morning man spent till 6 a.m. cleaning he car because some passengers didn’t get to open de doors in time. Febreze, Georgie, Febreze!
Thanks fuh an unforgettable night. Wunnah give de word Hott new meaning. Guys, question: do I need to send this article to your censorship committee for approval?
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful Christmas, yuh hear?