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What if de Vendor was Prime Minister?


shadiasimpson, [email protected]

What if de Vendor was Prime Minister?

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YEARS?AGO when Prime Minister Owen name Market Vendor Prime Minister fuh a day, all Bubbadus hear at Carols By Candlelight at Ilaro Court, in front thousands of witnesses, he say it come wid all rights and privileges of de office. I never get to drive in MP1, nor sleep in de four-poster bed, fire anybody, not even curse a fella in Parliament! Subsequently, David, now Freundel get to sleep in de official residence!
And since den I does wonder, what if de Vendor really had de chance to be PM? What he would do? Would people love me after or repay me de way they repay Dipper in ’76, Bree in ’86, Sandi in ’94 and Owen in ’08? Wha’ kind of PM would de Vendor be? Would I be mekking decisions, be a man of action or get kafuffle by civil servants, process and procedure? Would Peter Wickham, Dennis Johnson and David Ellis be tormenting me from 10:00 to 2:00 every day pun Down To Brass Tacks?
How would I handle de Alexandra School affair? Set up a costly commission of enquiry, transfer de head or teachers at de centre of de issue, fire somebody? Wha’ ’bout de board dat suppose to run tings? De truth? I would sleep on it !
Could I sell BNB shares below market price to de Trinis and force Bajans to accept less than their shares worth? Dat might cause me sleepless nights!
Privatize CBC and other government companies that losing hundreds of millions of dollars or let suffering taxpayers pay more taxes to keep incompetent people employed? Definitely would need sleep fuh that!
Would I kick butt wid Kamla to get a fishing agreement, start banning TnT products till she come to Christian, Islamic or Hindu feelings or wait fuh she to come and drink a bowl of soup wid me at Consett Bay? Forget soup, leh we fire a rum. She might need to sleep off dat one!
Would I pay Al Barrack before we owe over a hundred million in interest? Dat one would require me to sleep deep!
Would I build a new Queen Elizabeth Hospital or fix and expand de present one? don’t answer yet, Vendor – sleep pun it!
Would I want to call elections, knowing that 35 000 unhappy CLICO policyholders at my throat and without an answer fuh dem? Dat one need nuff sleep fuh de Vendor! Ah might need to be comatose fuh a while!
Would I go into an election season widout restoring de tax allowances dat I tek away from de middle class and wid de VAT still at 17.5 per cent? Sleep, Market Vendor, sleep!
Would I call elections before I finish de houses at Lancaster and give them to de party faithful or before I can open de David Thompson Polyclinic in St John and rename a few more schools and roundabouts? Again I say, sleep pun it!
Why all dis sleep? Why not just mek a decision and stick wid it? Truth of de matter is dat a lot of time I does go to sleep wid a problem pun my mind and in de morning wake up wid a clear solution!
Unlike Freundel, one thing de Vendor don’t have to sleep pun is election date! Dat date wid destiny coming before de Vendor birthdate! Beware de Ides of March! Fuh whom de bell tolls? Fuh you!
I, Market Vendor, gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?

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