DEAR CHRISTINE: Don’t want to see my ex-fiancé again
I am a woman in my early forties. I have no children and have never been married. However, I got engaged when I was 30 years old and had every intention of getting married.
My fiancé, however, never allowed me to fulfil this dream as he broke off the engagement and married someone else. It hurt for a while but eventually I got over it.
Two years ago I met a really wonderful man. He does everything to make me happy although he has showed no sign of making a commitment.
Three weeks ago, 13 years later, I got a call from my ex – the guy I was engaged to. He called to say he was in the island and wanted to see me. He said he would be in the island for six months, that he was now divorced and wanted to know if we could pick up from where we left off.
He apologized for running off when he did and told me he was not focused at the time.
As much as I have forgiven him, I cannot bring myself to see this man who hurt me so badly. Christine, I just don’t want to see him. I also do not believe there is such a thing as “picking up from where we left off”.
He closed that chapter of our lives the day he married someone else. I did nothing that would have contributed to him treating me the way he did. I was honest, cared deeply for him and was planning to spend the rest of my life with him.
Some members of my family believe I should keep this man out of my life, while others think I should at least meet with him. Christine, what do you think?
– Miss X
Dear Miss X,
Sometimes life gives us the chance to make good on past lost opportunities but, in this case, I am backing you 100 per cent.
Even though you have forgiven this man, this does not mean you have to open back up the windows of your soul to him. He loved you, left you and married another.
I don’t think you need the crumbs he is going to offer you at this time in his life. He had the opportunity to give you the full loaf 13 years ago.
I hope that your current relationship works out but even if it does not, keep pushing ahead and don’t look back.
Let him know you don’t think it would be a good idea for you two to meet and simply leave it at that.