DEAR CHRISTINE: Don’t know why he’s so distant
Please help me as I am at my wits’ end and do not know what to do. I am 51 years old and my partner is 59. We have been together for over two years. It is six months since we have been sexually intimate. He has not even kissed me or told me he loves me.
I love this man very much and everything is just tearing me apart. I keep asking him if it is something that I have done and the answer is always “no”.
Last week, quite unexpectedly, I saw him with his former girlfriend in the car. He appeared very shocked to see me. When I confronted him, he said that he was giving her a ride somewhere.
Christine, if you were in my position, what would you be thinking? Please tell me what to do as he is not willing to discuss things with me.
You’ve asked me a question and I’ll say this much, I would not allow the fact that I’ve seen him with this woman to cause me to jump to conclusions.
Due to the state of your current relationship, it would be natural for you to assume that if he is seen with another woman, there is something happening between them.
Or, you may assume that woman is the reason why there is some distance between you two. Don’t be misled. Unless you have proof that he has entered into another relationship, don’t overwork your mind and don’t make accusations.
I am no doctor, but men that age can suffer with various hormonal, depressive or sexual dysfunction issues that they find hard to explain.
Your greatest problem right now is not the fact that there is no intimacy in the relationship but that there is no communication. As a result, there will be all types of suspicions.
If you cannot get him to open up to you, your relationship will continue to be strained. In addition, if you’ve been nagging him a lot, stop it.
However, if he continues to give you the cold shoulder, it could be his way of saying the relationship is over. In order for you to know this for sure, come right out and ask him. It’s your only way of knowing the truth.